Whose Life am I Living

Awake

I sat up in my bed feeling weird, actually sore which wasn't unusual for me. My body hummed a dull ache everytime I woke up.
"Ugh" I groaned. I could see sunlight pouring into my room splashing the hard surfaces in it with a yellow hue. I looked around my room, once, twice, then anger flooded my veins like snake venom. I threw the covers off of me, my anger fueling my strength made them slap against the wall like a crashing wave. I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath, as I struggled to remain calm. When I looked up Naedal was in my doorway looking slightly pissed.
"What is the problem now Whit?" She said this calmly, her hand placed firmly on either side. She was small, with skin like mahogany, but her green eyes looked at me with anger, sadness and--- guilt? No not guilt she never felt bad about anything she did to me. But the look in her eyes made me feel guilty like somehow I was hurting her, but only for a second, when I looked back toward my room again.
"You were in here, and don't deny it Naedal I'm sick of you poking around in my stuff!" The way I was talking to her was almost yelling but not quite. She looked down but when she looked at me again her face showed confusion, then something clicked and she nodded.
"Whitaker, I've told you repeatedly to stop calling me that, I am your mother." She said calmly.
"Then act like it!" I snapped. I sat up gripping the edge of my bed. Her eyes looked sad, and for the first time I saw how frail and little she looked, she looked as if just a whisper of a wind would send her flying. I calmed down then, looking her in her eyes I slowly stood up and gave her a gentle hug. She hugged me more tightly than I expected, whispering in my ear.
"I'm so sorry."
Then the world went black.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I woke up in my bed feeling weird which isn't unusual for me. I could hear the rain outside of my window, I turned my phone on, temporarily blinding myself, I blinked away the spots turning down the brightness to reveal it was 3:54 am. Why am I up? As I began to close my eyes, I saw a figure cross my room, assuming it was a shadow, I fell back asleep, praying I'd wake up at a more decent hour.
When I woke up the rain had stopped, and sun poured into my room, I jumped out of bed feeling optimistic, today was a the first day of school, Junior year. It's was exciting being an Upperclassmen, I couldn't wait, not that I'd tell anyone that, especially not my parents. I went to my closet looking for a black halter top, then I heard something.
A baby crying?
All of a sudden I panicked and I had to find that baby.
My baby? I looked around the rooms upstairs, the more I looked and couldn't find it, the more panicked I became. I ran downstairs tripping on my way down, I fell hitting my head on the railing, Naedal and Lee stood over me fear written all over their faces. I looked at them, and slurred the only word that came to mind, "Beauty". As I stood up Lee reached down to help me. When I came to my feet, I was fine, and as I looked at the clock, very very late. My parents looked at me questioningly, I smiled shrugged and ran upstairs to get ready.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
When I got to school I looked for the only person that matters, my boyfriend Monroe, no he wasn't the star quarter back but he, killed in chess, and other places. I went to my locker hoping he'd be there, which he wasn't, I was slightly upset, but I had morning classes which COULD NOT be avoided. I slammed my locker shut and continued to walk down the hall towards AP Chem.
As Mr. Jetsing droned on about the wonders of Stoichiomerty, I drifted off.
I was laying on the hospital bed, legs in stirrups, and aching. Monroe stood in the corner staring down at his phone, I held my baby in my arms, I held her so close she I was almost squeezing her. Monroe came over to me pocketing his phone as he ran his fingers through his hair. He took my legs out of the stirrups, and walked over to my side kissing me and the baby on the head. Just as I was about to hand him the baby someone opened the door, Naedal stood there---- BRRRIIINNNGGGG
The bell woke me out of my dream. I stood up dazed, then quickly grabbed my books and Mr. Jetsing told us about the evening assignment.