A World Without You

Chapter 5

Lucy's POV

"I should go home" I said wiping my eyes and getting up.

"Okay, do you want me to walk you home?" Jake asked as he got up and stood in front of me.

"No its fine, I need to be alone for a bit okay." I looked at him.

"I Understand, I'll see you tomorrow okay?" I nodded and started walking home

I was half way home when I started to cry again. My mind kept going back to what Evan said, I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it.

When I got home I didn't see my mother, so I ran upstairs to my room and looked at my self in the mirror. I was a mess, my hair was messy and my make up was running down my face with my tears.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Evan said, It scared me to death.

1 hour earlier

I was walking to the front of the school to meet Jake when I ran into The person I really didn't want to see alone today.

"Hey Lucy, so he knows it was me huh. I thought I told you not to tell anyone lu." He was smirking like always

"I didn't tell him anything Evan, he saw you and he heard you."

"I really don't care lu," with that he forcefully took my arm and dragged me out to the football field  where half our grade was sanding there. he through me to the group and I cried out in pain but everyone else just laughed at me. Girls started  yelling and saying things to me and All I did was cry and be weak.

People kept yelling things and spitting in my face or kicking me but it stopped when Evan crouched  beside me.

"I was going to wait to tell you this but oh well. You remember rick right? Yeah well he's my father and he's looking for you and he's gunna find you.My whole body froze. I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and started to run. I ran to the only place I loved.

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Everything started to make sense now, why I'm so bullied and unwanted by anyone in the school. It was all Evan, he made everyone hate me. I still don't know why Rick is threatening me, I remember what he said and I haven't disobeyed I haven't told anyone the truth. I have always been too scared that he would come and kill me but I guess I don't even need to tell anybody about what happened because he's going to kill me anyways. I just didn't understand why this was happening.

All of this was making me go crazy, I couldn't take it. I didn't want to face the truth. 

My tears kept falling and I slowly started making my way to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror once more before taking my razor and braking it.  I looked at it for a few seconds. I felt so weak and scared. I never thought I would be this stupid.
I feel to my knees on the floor and put the blade to my wrist and made a single cut. And then another. I never felt so much pain in my life before, and this helped it go away.

I didn't stop until both wrists were covered in cuts and blood was dripping from them.

I stood and cleaned my wrists and wrapped bandages around them. I made my way back to my room and put on a giant sweater. I crawled in bed, even though it was still early I needed to sleep and forget about everything even if it's only for a few hours.

I was curled up in a small ball, my whole Brody shaking. I kept to crying but eventually I fell asleep.

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When I woke up it was the morning, I guess I was really tired and slept all night. I Looked beside me to check the time and it was already 10am. I missed first period, I don't know how my mom didn't wake me up at 6 am to kick me  out like she always does. She must still be sleeping.

I got up and went to the bathroom. I did my make up and tired to make myself look decent even though I still had thousands of bruises everywhere. I looked at the cuts I made last night and a few were still bleeding so I replaced the bandages with new ones. I went back to my room and put on a different sweater and a pair of skinny jeans.

As I went downstairs it was really quite, It was nice but also strange not having my mom yelling at me to leave the house. she probably went out last night and was sleeping off her hangover. i Made the start of my day easier because it was just one less thing I had to deal with.

I grabbed something to eat, but I wasn't even that hungry so all I ended up getting was piece of toast. I wasn't in any rush even if I was scared about my mom coming down at any random moment. There were just to many things going through my head. Why was Rick still trying to get me, he said he only wanted to kill my father and he did that and he told me just not to even speak if it. 

My father was a rich man, he had so many friends. People were here all the time in the basement. Where I wasn't aloud to go, my father always told me "little lu I know you want to be with me but this is we're the grown ups go to talk. You need to stay up here and play you will understand when the time comes"
I still wonder what he meant, but I guess I'll never know.I could ask my mom but she was hardly involved with any of my dads life. I know they loved each other but sometimes she didn't seem to care.

So many secrets I'll never know the truth too, I wish I could maybe it would explain why my life has been so messed up so complicated. 

Iv still never gone to the basement, it's always locked and my mother keeps the key with her at all times. And I'm just too afraid to ask because I don't know what she would say or do. All I want to know is what's down there and why couldn't my father tell me until the "time was right".

So much was spinning through my head it felt like I was trying to piece together a puzzle with a million different pieces and some that were lost. I didn't eat my toast, I had 2 bites and it felt like to much already. I didn't even realize how long I'd been sitting here for but I guess time goes by when lost in your own thoughts. It's 10:45 lunch was starting soon at school. I slowly got up from the table and got my stuff and left.

Lunch had just started when I got to the school I looked around and saw people avoiding me like I was the pledge. I went to my spot and sat. I missed Jake but I didn't want to looking for him. at this point i don't want to risk running into Evan anymore then I have too.

"Hey Lucy" it was jake, he had quite the timing. I smiled to him.

"Hey" I didn't really know what to say the last we saw each other I was crying my eyes out.

"Did you get home okay? I know yesterday was really rough again. You should have let me walk you home." He looked full of concern and not that it bothered me I just know how bad this situation is and he dosent I'm afraid of him getting wrapped up into everything.

"Jake it's okay I made it home just fine, I told you I needed my space. I'm okay now" he didn't seem to believe me as much as I didn't believe my own words. I knew I wasn't okay and I knew that it was plain obvious I just didn't wanna get it to it.

"I won't bug but you know you can talk to me I know life isn't the easiest thing for you right now, I just want to be here for you" he sat beside me looking at me.

"Jake I want too but it's too complicated for me to even understand how to talk about it" that's the best I could tell him because it's truthfully all I could say I don't understand any of this.

Just at the moment when his eyes were looking at with understanding, the bell rang and it was time to go to class. I had math with Evan and I was dreading it.

" I guess that's the bell huh, at least can you let me walk you to class?" He said getting up holding his hand out to me offering to help me up. I nodded and took his hand and we started going to class we didn't say anything on the was there. People gave us looks and some said more awful comments under there breath as we passed. Jake didn't catch them all but when he did he gave them a cold look and the stopped talking.

"This is my class, thanks for walking me.." I said to him as we reached my math room. I didn't really know how to say goodbye to him.

" I'll see you later, okay?" He said to me looking down at me.

"Okay" I smiled at him and slowly walked into the class room trying my best not too look as terrified as I felt.