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Chapter 11 *Depression*

Bea POV

Life is just going by very slow. I wanted to leave Mystic Falls and pack me and Hope's bags up. But that wasn't an option. I hadn't talked to Klaus in almost two weeks. Which was lately becoming a normal but next time we talk was suppose to be the day we leave Mystic Falls. But now i feel like that's never going to happen. New Orleans had the drama but it also had much life to it and you could always find something to do. If you actually had a break from this supernatural stuff there was always fun things lurking around to the corner to go to but Mystic Falls is the exact opposite. I missed hearing Bekah and Klaus and Elijah argue even though it could be the most annoying this ever but i really did miss it. I missed Hayley and her.... well just having her around. I only have Hope which i'm grateful for Hope but she is stuck here with my depressed self. Hiding away from every supernatural danger event is one thing but living in a mopy town with the only exciting thing happening is vampire drama is another. Mystic Falls is a beautiful place don't get me wrong but the beauty is the only thing that is of interest to me has the years go by.
I did a stupid thing last night because i could not sleep. I thought about everything. The memories with my mom, dad and tyler mostly bad. Memories with Klaus.Hayley,Bekah and everything horrible and good that has ever happened in my life. Most looking back on who i am in Mystic Falls and who i was in New Orleans. Here i'm a tempered depressed bi-.... person and in New Orleans i'm happy, musical and i'm not struggling with depression all the time. It's like i had two different personalities and that wasn't ok with me. In my head the side that i show here in New Orleans is the side i'm hiding from everybody here. While i'm hiding the more emotional side from everybody in New Orleans. I don't know how to think about that. How to think about myself.

I didn't want this depression to take over me being happy i wanted to ignore it like always but i couldn't hide from it any more but i was determined to keep trying. I need to put on my best smile for Hope and stop being so negative. To stay positive i thought about the life Hope could have in the future with Klaus and Hayley by her side with a 'army' of vampires and werewolfs I figured would be protective of her. She was all grown up in her teens maybe, i can imagine Klaus and Hayley being overly protective of her. And as much as she loved them they would annoy her with being 'controlling'. It was actually very amusing watching this happen in the future wither it's true or just a part of my imagination i was still loving it. Klaus being demanding and a pain as Hayley is also being a pain and stubborn has always. This image made my smile it made me happy seeing them happy and together something i hope would come very soon.

I left my mind and went upstairs in my room it was late at night and Hope was in a peaceful sleep. I decided it was time to un-retire my paint brushes and start painting. And that's actually what i did. I wanted to make something for Hope's room in particular so i did something colorful but simple. I brought more into Hope's room even though the they did slightly clash together. Then i continued painting and until my hands hard and eyes were so tired i couldn't keep them open. For some reason i was just into painting . I also did this side by side .

In the end i was happy i went to bed in peace with no depression waving over me. I woke up in the middle of the night and to Hope crying. I went and picked her up and changed her. I took her back in my room because she wouldn't stop crying. I rocked her and hummed to her but nothing helped. Then i started singing Try by Colbie Catillat 

It wasn't a song that ment to sooth a baby but it what was stuck in my head. I soon has i started the cries dyed down and she watched my mouth move with lyrics i was singing. When i was done she was quiet. I went to put her back in her room but she started again. "Staying in my room it is." I said a bit amused. I layed down in my bed with her and fell fast a sleep. It was so cute i took a picture and sent it to Klaus and Hayley . Klaus soon messaged back with a response i didn't expect. "Finn found out. He's looking for you both."