West Chester Beauty Queen

Chapter Twelve - Like You Ain't Even Gone

~Johnny's Point of View~

I slipped my Ray Bans back on and a few people with cameras surrounded me and tried to get me to talk but it almost sounded like they were talking in another language.
I take some pictures with fans and sign some autographs but then get in the truck and drive off.
It was the loudest silence I've ever heard. I never thought it'd be this suffocating when it came to Joey.
I had the iHeart Radio app in the car playing softly in the background and a song that I've heard once or twice before came on.
I turn it up and the music from 'Ours' by Taylor Swift plays through the speakers.
The song reminds me of happier times with Joey, and I remember all the times we'd ride around town in the car, not really going anywhere in particular but just riding together.
She'd have her sunglasses on and her feet on the dashboard and she'd be laughing.
I stop at a stoplight and suddenly I feel something warm in my hand and I look over and she smiles her beautiful smile at me.
"I love you Johnny." she says
I smile and say, "I love you more."
She laughs her infectious laugh and my heart warms and I almost laugh with her.
The light turns and I continue to drive, pushing the speed a little faster than allowed, but this is what we'd do. Speed down the roads.
I was really happy for Joey, and extremely proud of her. She's been working so hard to get this far in her music career. The last thing I want is for her to feel that she needs to put it on hold for me. I love her so much and I want her to be happy.
I wish I could go with her, but I have planning for the new Jackass movie I need to do. And dickhouse is already on my ass about it.
I'd give anything to spend every minute with Joey, wherever she is. She's my world, my everything. But unfortunately that's not how that works.
She's going to be gone for six months, and she may not even come home for the holidays. We won't be able to spend our first Christmas together, or our first New Years.
I don't think I can go six no-Joey filled months. It doesn't seem possible.
I pulled up the long driveway and up to the gate. I punched in the code and I hear Joey say, "I'll miss you Johnny. I love you so much."
I knew that if I looked in the passenger seat my heart would be torn up even more.
"I love you too Joey. More than any word ever thought of could describe." I say
I look over in the passenger seat just because it felt necessary and because I'm an idiot, and she wasn't there. She was gone.
I look straight ahead again and fiddled with the keys and a tear rolls down my cheek and I just couldn't fight it anymore. It was almost like Joey had taken my will to live away with her.
I knew two things...1) I'm going to miss her and 2) this was going to be a long six months.