Ninety Nine Days - Phan (Boyxboy)

Chapter 10

Dan's POV

I was dragged from my thoughts again as a kind looking young woman with short brown hair and blue eyes - just like his - sat down next to me and patted my shoulder reassuringly. I looked at her angrily, a glare forming on my usually cheerful face. I stared at her unhappily until she removed her hand and drew in a small breath.

"Sir, I assume you are in this part of the hospital for a serious-" she stopped, noticing I was now staring at my raw looking hands. "Sir? Are you okay?" She questioned again, looking concerned.

"Sir," I mumbled to myself, chuckling quietly with bitterness evident in my voice. "Why does everyone," I started, raising my voice, "keep on calling me..." I continued, anger coursing through my veins. "SIR?!" I shouted, my voice deadly and full of venom, echoing through the long hall.

The young woman next to me jumped slightly at my outburst, but stayed by my side, loyally.
I guess she's trained to deal with situations like this...
"I..." The woman started, looking shocked and confused. "I'm sorry... I just wanted to see if you were okay..."

"Well I'm not! I'm not okay! Why would I be okay? Sitting here in an empty ward, hoping, praying, he's alive! I saw him pulled out of the wreck, his blood covering the leather seat; I heard them saying that he wasn't breathing!" Tears had begun to stream down my face as I spoke.

"So why would you think that I was ok after my boyfriend stopped breathing!? He could be dead for all I know!" I screamed, pain shooting up my back and through my body. My head hurt from yelling and I felt myself become progressively angrier at the pain blossoming in my head. "Just leave me alone!"

She stood up fast as I curled up on the floor next to the chair I'd managed to slip off, burying my head in my knees, tears beginning to soak the dark blue denim. "Should I get someone?" She asked, her voice trailing off as she looked around and reached out for my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me.

As her hand touched my shoulder, I shook my body to get rid of the intruding limb.
She is helping you, the voice in my head spoke, similar to how someone would speak through gritted teeth.

I didn't want to be comforted. Not by her. The only person who was allowed to even breathe around me, never mind touch me, while I was having an existential crisis was Phil. But he wasn't there. He may never be there again because of me. Because I screamed and yelled like a little child.

I watched her leave out of the corner of my eye and whimpered loudly. I was alone, possibly will remain alone, because I was a complete and utter idiot. The thought of being alone was terrifying and infuriating at the same time.

I got up quickly and grabbed the nearest thing to me (which happened to be one of the flimsy blue chairs) and threw it across the hall. It hit the poster covered wall, making a loud cracking sound, and fell dramatically to the ground, lying still on its side with a crack on the back section of the chair.

I screamed, the noise filling the small corridor, causing worried nurses to run out of the room opposite where I was sitting. I curled up on the floor as tight as I could, letting loud, pain filled cries out.

Two of the nurses held me under my arms firmly and pulled me to my feet, another one who looked more formal started asking me simple questions - name; age; date of birth - which I didn't answer. With a sigh, she moved a stray piece of red hair out of her face and repeated the questions.

It was a technique they'd tried to use with Phil, to try and keep him calm while drifting in and out of consciousness, not that it helped him in anyway. Despite the calming way of trying to get his details, he'd groaned and let out confused, innocent sobs.

I remembered the quiet whimpers he made while they dragged him from the smashed car, repeating the same questions I was currently being asked. I relived the horror of seeing him, covered in blood, pierced with glass, stained with bruises. The metal of the car bent inwards, windshield smashed, doors caved inwards. He was terrified.
So was I.

"Where's Phil? Where's my baby? I need him; I need Phil; my Lion! Where is he?" I mumbled, stammering and choking on sobs as I broke down again. I stared down at my shaking legs, the nurses looking at each other in confusion.

"Sir we need you to calm down and to answer the questions," the lead nurse spoke with authority and tranquillity lacing into her tone of voice. She didn't care about me! She didn't care about my needs!

"Where is he!?" I shouted hoarsely to the nurse who was stood in front of me, continuously listing of questions that fell on deaf ears. Tears dripped down my face like rivers, staining my crimson cheeks. She knew what state he was in, yet feigned ignorance.
"Sir! You need to calm-" she began, yet had no time to finish.

"WHERE IS PHIL!? WHERE IS MY LION!?" I screamed, thrashing my shoulders against the makeshift restraints of the nurses' arms until they loosened ever so slightly. They were keeping him away from me! I needed Phil; Phil needed me! Why didn't they understand this! I NEEDED to see him! I needed my lover!

"Sir! Sir calm down!" The lead nurse began to raise her voice louder and louder, whilst the two nurses either side of me feebly tried to hold me back in their tiny arms.

Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. You don't learn from mistakes do you? Here, I'll put it in language you'll understand; they are TRYING to help you. I know you are concerned about Phil, but you screaming and shouting like a four year old IS NOT HELPING THE SITUATION! The voice inside my head berated me.

Tears streamed down my face like paint down a canvas, sobs shaking my body. This entire situation was awful; the guilty feeling inside knowing that I had caused part of this ate at me. All I wanted to do is to curl up into a ball and forget everything that I've done.

My head pulsed with pain from overthinking; worse than it was earlier. The pain must have been evident on my face, as the lead nurse had started speaking with concern in her voice.

The pain in my head grew and grew at a concerning rate, causing groans and angry hisses to leave my mouth - which eventually escalated into shouts and cries of pain. The lead nurse barked orders to the two nurses, who began to drag me forward.

Then I saw sweet darkness as my body fell limp against the linoleum flooring.