Underwater. ||h.s.||

chapter eleven.

When I was growing up, there was always this small difference between me and the rest of my school's population that only I saw. I was an in-betweener because of my leg, something that most people hope for when they attend public school. I wasn't treated any different from anyone else as far as academics, but I had advantages that most didn't. I had normal friends, a strong GPA, and sometimes, I even drove to school with my dad's car. Up until I was seventeen, I felt normal.

Then, when I grew up, I didn't feel normal anymore. I would go to the store and a clerk would go, "Here, lemme help you carry that," or my boyfriend—Calum—would hold all of my stuff, even my purse, when we went somewhere together.

I guess that children and teenagers see your individual worth more than adults and that's were my normalcy stayed. I guess that's also why I wanted a sibling so badly.

With Harry though, my state of normalcy was somewhat returned. He was cautious of my leg, but didn't care for me out of pity or look at me as a perk. He saw me as Greylene and called me Bambi rhetorically. That's why I found myself head over heels when I pushed his car door open. Wiggling my leg out and pushing the door open, I tried getting out of the car myself. He waited for me patiently and in the elevator up to my room, he said, "I hope you didn't want my help out there..."

"No—"

"Because I am a very chivalrous man, but you've been doing that for so long, I didn't want to seem like I was babying you up—"

"Harold, really, it's fine," I giggled again. "I'm glad you didn't."
He made me giggle more than a schoolgirl on prom night. Again, English boys.

I recall telling myself that there would be no one else in the room other than me, but with Harry...God, with Harry, I always second-guessed myself. It wasn't so bad that he was breaking me out of that conservative shell of mine. I really liked it.

When we approached my room door and I fished into my purse for the key, I felt Harry's hands around my middle. I gasped and stumbled back against his chest with my purse tightly pulled back into mine. Harry's throaty chuckle encircled my ear as he leant down to give me a single kiss on the space below my neck.

What was going through my head never crossed my mind in at least two years. I mean, I thought about it before, what human being hasn't...but I never had it be so close and near. Calum's words soon came into focus...

"It's only sex, Erin..."

Being the hypocrite I was, I agreed with him as Harry's hands traveled dangerously close to the helm of my dress.
"...I can't help myself, Bambi," he whispered. "You're so beautiful..."
I tried my hardest to breathe fairly normal while looking for the key, but his fingers were making there way into my subconscious.

Suddenly, I felt a wave of self-consciousness. Inevitably, Harry would find my scars and either a) be disgusted or b) become more intrigued in them more than me.
Both circumstances would crush me and I'd be pushing my Prince Charming out of the door. Even so, thoughts began to run through my head...

It would officially be my first time.
I didn't know if I was ready, or if I'd ever be ready. Memories of the night before my seventeenth birthday flashed and I couldn't handle them.

I reached down and stopped his hand from going any farther. "We can't," I mumbled back, slightly turning to tell him.
Eventually, I found the key and opened the door.

Calum's POV

"Dammit..."

Just when I thought I was alright in the soda department, I soon came to the realization that I drunk all of my Dr. Pepper in one sitting. Blimey, being in Baltimore was a drag.
I thought about knocking down Erin's door, taking her hand, and lathering her in kisses after last night, but I knew any efforts to get her back were blown out of the water.

I also knew, after Rory and her girlfriend stopped by, that she'd gone off to breakfast with that hippie loser. I figured she wouldn't be back for another day.

Stressed out and obviously bloated from the consummation of generic chips and soda, I started planning how the rest of the week would go. I booked a flight back to Michigan on Thursday to be with my mum. She was visiting me from Down Under and I couldn't miss that. I didn't tell Erin, but I doubted she'd take a second thought about it anyway with her new, posh soul-mate always with her.

She wanted us to remain friends. That's why I was brought along, but it was too hard to maintain the bond we once had. But I was passive-aggressive for her; even when I wanted to reject her for the trip invitation, those blue eyes pulled me in again.

The more I sat round thinking about it, the more I wanted junk food to keep me occupied. I reached over for my can of D.P. and...found an empty can.

I went down to the lobby to get a bottle out of the vending machine. I didn't bother waiting until I got up to the room to crack it open, but almost wasted some when the liquid came bubbling out. My actions were caught by a girl in a red sundress. Her hair was in a lengthy, blonde bun and her nails were painted just as cherry-red as her lips. When I lowered the bottle, she smiled at me and pointed to her chin.
I pointed to mine and...felt the sticky sensation of my soda there. She smiled and walked past me while I shook her image out of my head. So many wickedly beautiful women around and I was stuck on Erin.

No, I yelled in my head, you're not stuck. You're free, man.
Who was I kidding? I was practically the ex-husband that didn't want to sign the divorce papers.

In the same direction as the girl, I went back to the same elevator I came down on.

So much for shaking that girl out of my head.

When I stepped inside of the elevator, to my surprise, the girl stood there.

Her eyes went directly to mine and when I stepped in, she began giggling. I grinned back at her before asking, "What?"
The door shut behind me. "Nothing, it is just...I have never seen someone do that before."

"Do what?"

"Stare so hard that they spill their sodas."

I looked down at the bottle. "Yeah, well, I'm a klutz."

Her hands went up to cover her mouth. "...I'm Kate."

"Calum."

"Nice to meet you. I-I like your accent. You are from?"

"Australia. You?"

"I'm from Bosnia, but raised in America."
Amazing. She was cute and foreign.
In our short elevator ride, I summed up how cool it was to meet her. She expressed that she was visiting some migrated family members, but our conversation was short-lived as the elevator doors dinged. I waved her goodbye, but she began rummaging through her bag first. She pulled out a pen and instantly took my hand. When she stood back, she
admired the set of numbers on my hand.

"My number. I give to you to talk sometimes," she said, still smiling.

"Okay."

When she walked out of the elevator, a man stood there. I didn't think I'd have the same chances as Erin, but I thought that just once in my life, I'd have a chance and it would be with that girl.

All of those chances were crushed when the man standing outside of the elevator wrapped his arms around her and kissed her right on the lips.

When I arrived on my floor with my half-full bottle of Dr. Pepper, I didn't think much of the heavy breathing three doors down. I just grabbed my room key and tried sliding it into the door.

But when I heard that familiarly annoying English accent...and the name 'Bambi,' I was ready to vomit at the sight. I glimpsed over to see Erin and that prick. He was touching her in ways I'd only dreamed and kissing her while knowing she was mine.

Was, I reminded myself as I opened my room up. Was.

Erin's POV

Harry immediately made himself comfortable on my bed as I rid myself of those pesky flats. I couldn't sit after denying him, I just couldn't. I started doing that nervous tick again; the one where I start cleaning when I know there's nothing to clean.

"I didn't mean to be so forward," he said, breaking our momentary silence. "I'm not usually like that and I'd never force you."

"S'okay—"

"No, I mean it, Erin. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

I stopped moving to look back at the boy sitting apologetically on my mattress. "You didn't. It's okay. I'm...just a little nervous."

I went back to cleaning when I heard ruffling from the comforter. I turned around to see Harry standing there, still apologizing with his eyes. I was still undeniably head over heels with the fact that he was sympathetic because of sex, not because of my limp.

He walked even closer to me, so close that I could smell that same cologne that tainted my apartment. I gasped as his hands pulled me into an embrace and his lips attached themselves to the corner of my lips. I dropped the item I was holding so I could latch onto his jumper and kiss him back.

Holding me in his arms and massaging my lower back, I accidently moaned into his mouth as he caressed my bottom lip with his tongue. I never felt anything like it before and being so inexperienced, there were a lot of things I...accidently did.

As he transitioned to softly bite my lip, I jumped into his arms, ultimately molding into him. He groaned at the instant contact and released from my body.

My fingers immediately skimmed my lips. There was something about his kiss; even after his lips left mine, the spark they left behind was something inconceivably fervent.

He stepped back from me, looking at me from head to toe. I looked away, for his gaze was too much to bear. "Look at me, Greylene."
When I did, his hands went up to remove the beanie and fix the stray curls that fell into his face. He was...beautiful himself, like a portrait come to life. It was hard to look away. "Let me stay tonight. Just for one night and I'll leave tomorrow."

I shook my head and his head fell back on his shoulders. I thought he was angry with my refusal, but he continued saying, "You keep doing it. Keep making me fall in love with you."

Let's recall the kid at the zoo. While standing in Harry's golden grace as he bit his lip at me; the worked-up ginger, I felt like I was gaping back at the lion that created this ecstatic feeling within me. I didn't see a reason to leave the plexus glass of his captivity.

I pushed my hair back again. "Fine. You can stay tonight."
______________________

I took a brief shower while Harry set up to spend the night. Amidst my cleansing, I started to ask myself if it was the smartest choice to let Harry sleep in the same bed as me.

I shouldn't trust people. I can't. I know what happens when I do. A man I've known since birth threw my trust away! Am I really going to trust another man I met a couple of weeks ago?

I tried ridding myself of such thoughts and looked down at my inner thighs. It was like a secret I was hiding from Harry along with the big one that I even kept from Rory and my mother. From both of our sensual behaviours, I had to show him the scars and get past my self-consciousness first. That, and past my father.

I got out and wrapped a towel around my head before slipping on the one article of clothing I dreaded for so long: boy shorts. Along with my loose tee and fluffy socks, I walked out of the bathroom, hoping to reveal something that many people didn't know about me and get an honest reaction out of it.

When I peeked out of the bathroom threshold, Harry immediately looked back. I looked over him to see him clothed in the red flannel he wore underneath his jumper and a pair of black boxers. His chiseled body shown right underneath that flannel. He was so attractive...

Focus, Grey.

Right.

"C'mere," he motioned to me. A smile danced on my lips as I limped out of the bathroom with my legs bare. He reciprocated my actions before scooting back against the headboard. When I reached him, he took my hand and gradually helped me onto the bed.

Not even in high school did I feel this special. Erin Greylene Ouellette had been resurrected.

I fell against the pillows next to him, taking the towel off of my head as he continued to hold my hand. His eyes never faltered down to my legs and surprisingly, my eyes never wandered down his body—even if the top two buttons of his flannel were popped open, revealing more mouth-watering tattoos.

Okay, maybe they wandered a little.
With his free hand, he brushed one of my stray red hairs away from face.
"So beautiful..."

Upon hearing those words a second time, I sat up and ran my left hand along my legs. Still, his eyes never left mine. Maybe he wouldn't care too much about the twin scars...

"Remember when I told you about the...tail and being a mermaid and stuff?"
He nodded before giving my shoulder a kiss.
"...Did you believe me?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because I wasn't speaking figuratively. You've witnessed that; with the limp and stuff. I had a weird genetic defect when I was born. My legs were grown inward...I have...scars on my inner thighs."

He still didn't look down. He just sat up, still holding my hand. "Why're you telling me this?"

"...Because...when you see them, I don't want you to freak out or stare at them weirdly."

"Why would I do that?"

I shrugged. "You'd be the first to ever see them besides my parents. I just want to know...if I can trust you."

T r u s t.

Before that night, I thought it was just a stupid five-letter word being tossed around. Harry proved me wrong.

He never looked down and a part of me was thankful that he didn't because I wasn't fully ready for his eyes to see. Instead, he let go of my hand and with his own, he parted my thighs and felt the scars, inch by inch.

His gentle touch was abnormal in that particular place. I had to keep my eyes from rolling back as he continued his slender touch further down the incisions. I couldn't keep from panting as his hand made its way back up. He stared into my eyes, watching me come undone. "...Do you trust me?" he asked, quietly.

"...Yes."

His graze was now heading further past my scar. It was inevitable to keep my eyes from rolling back now. "Do you trust me, Greylene?"

"H-Harry..."

"I need to be sure..."

"...I—trust you."

That's all it took for him to touch me. I gripped the back of his neck with both hands as he showed me passion. His lips fell to mine as his fingers worked their way past my underwear and inside of me.

I wasn't scared anymore, not of Harry. He didn't hurt me at all. I couldn't believe I let him, but he slowly helped me ride out my orgasm, whispering coaxes. It was my first, official one and all the bad images of my seventeenth birthday faded away as he held me in his arms.

"You can trust me, Erin," he continued. "You can."