Love stories

Dealing

Will tomorrow be just like the day before.

Full of jealousy?

Full of fear?

Full of hate?

Full of secrets?

Full of wishes?

Full of pain?

Most likely, yes. Tomorrow will be like yesterday, SHIT, making me hope for someone to just hold my hand.

I know it may be just my over reactions, making me think like I do, making me over exaggerate little things. But even when I talk to people, I don't seem get my point across.

I love him & I think I've told that to everyone face-to-face, except for him. I've told my friends, his friends, random people I meet, friends I make on the Internet, & yet all I can do is type "I love you" over chat.

If only I could go up to him, grab his hand, & tell him how much I care.

But truly it's not that easy. Not just the telling him part, but finding the right time & place.

I'm never left alone. I'll either have my friends crowding me, random people I don't know, or some people who know the ones I'm around.

Then there's the times I finally get time with the one I love, then someone comes in-between us, pushing me to the side. I don't like that, being pushed away, like nothing, so what I'll do is just walk away.

But what I really hate is when I see him with others. I mean I know he loves me, but I always get this empty feeling when I see a random guy pretending to be his boyfriend coming up & hugging him. Or when I see one of my best friends jump on him from behind, hit him in the stomach, & even get carried by him.

I mean I know it's not my place to say "No", but I'm just a 12 year old girl. I get jealous, I get mad, & if only I have enough courage I bet I'd be able to tell him.

Plus I know he's got nothing to worry about & I bet he never thinks twice when I'm around other guys. I mean it's me, he's got nothing to worry about.

Just another girl who happens to wanna be left alone most of the time, or that's what she says. When really, where she wants to be is with the one she loves.

Alone I would rather remain, if the other choice is be pushed away &/or crowded.

Empty, I feel empty, like something is missing, like something that will complete me hasn't happened yet.

But soon I hope, without others around to bug the shit out of me or push me away.

Jealousy, fear, hate, secrets, wishes, & pain, the things I have to deal with.

Though that one person's love always helps me to overcome all this.