Depression: The Struggle (Work In Progress)

Chapter 3: Junior High

With Michael getting older, it because inevitable that our stay with my grandma would become impossible. Anthony and I were already sharing a bedroom that was too small for the two of us. There was no way three of us would be able to occupy the tiny room.

My feelings about moving were conflicted. While I did not want to leave my grandma and all my neighborhood friends behind, I was excited about the possibility of a new house and the potential to meet new friends in a new neighborhood. Little did I know, the move would be a much more drastic change than I could have imagined.

After a good bit of searching, my parents settled on a home. We had a nice-sized house with a lot of land. The back yard was big enough to play football in. I was pleased with that prospect. The big downside was that this was one of only two streets in the area. Even worse for the new friends prospect was that the rest of the area was occupied with small businesses for the most part. There were a few more houses on the street but none with any other kids.

That summer was pretty boring for me. Even though the cable company was only about a mile away, they did not service the area since there were not enough residents for their trouble. Most of my summer weekdays were spent just tossing a football in the back yard by myself. Outside of neighborhood games, Anthony was not as enamored with football as me. Unfortunately, my dad got a different job that kept him from home until almost dark, so I lost the time with him that used to be spent throwing the football.

The weekends were better for me. Anthony and I would spend the weekends sleeping over at our grandma's house. Occasionally, I had the chance to go to Steve's house and sleep over, but I was fairly lonely a good portion of the summer. At the end of the summer, our family would increase for the final time with the birth of my sister, Beth.

I remember being nervous after junior high orientation. I'd be going from two teachers to six. That meant traveling around the school to go to classes. Not to mention, with puberty meant others were in their growth spurts, easily passing me by.

The first day of school couldn't really get off to a worse start than it did. My stop was a new addition to the bus route-a bus that would never show up. When 7:15 came and went, my mom took me to school. So, if I wasn't nervous enough, missing the entire home room period made it that much worse. Fortunately, my home room teacher made things a lot better for me.

When I got to his classroom, everyone had already moved onto first period, but he talked to me for a few minutes and calmed me down, escorting me to my first period class. The rest of the day went by smoothly, being surrounded by fellow honors students...until P.E. that is.

There, I experienced the downside of my height, being bullied by taller classmates. I vividly remember being lifted by my gym shorts into the air-the pain from the forced wedgie. Apparently, it was funny to pick on the short kid.

Outside of that, I can't complain much about how my school days were spent. I joined our school drama club, participating in a few plays. My time outside of school was spent being bored, except for Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings that I'd spent as part of our church youth group.

A few days into the school year, we had a new student, Mike, that moved from up north. His dad was in the military and got stationed nearby. Even though I was still fairly shy, I decided to befriend him and show him around the school. I figured if I were new, I'd want somebody to do the same for me. Little did I know, I'd be making a friend I'd become closest to.

Unfortunately, genetics would kick me again in the form of acne. This would create some self esteem issues for me. I excelled in the classroom and even developed a pretty good sense of humor, but I felt ugly.

I felt like I was so different that I internally distanced myself. While I made a lot of progress in my shyness, I always felt I wasn't as good as those I went to school with-those blessed with height, money, and better skin complexion.

Outside of that, school wasn't so bad for me. It was a pretty decent year until I found out that Steve would become my second best friend to move out of state. I took that pretty tough since he and I had grown pretty close for three years.

Thankfully, he wasn't the only friend I had. I started going over to Mike's every weekend I didn't spend at my grandma's. His parents liked me, so that was a plus. There, I was able to hang out, watch movies, and go eat at places our budget didn't allow at home. It was a nice change.

The rest of the school year went by in pretty much the same fashion. Good grades, hanging out, and going to church was pretty much the standard. I spent many lunch periods in a computer lab, getting my first exposure to something else I'd find myself enjoying-the internet.

There wasn't much difference in how I spent that summer. Mike and his family went on vacation, and I spent a good part of the summer at my grandma's. Eighth grade would be pretty much the same. The only thing different was that I joined the quiz team. It was almost like a Jeopardy type show for local junior high and high schools.

I was the first alternate, so I didn't play that year. I did participate in every practice and get out of school to go to the matches every time we played, so that was fun for me. Outside of that, it was a pretty routine school year.

I was blessed to be able to go on a winter trip with my youth group that January with someone sponsoring me to go. It was a nice trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee.