Heart Vs. Mind: Colifer

Chapter 1: Confessions to Myself

CHAPTER 1:

"Break is over! Jen, Colin, Jared, Lana, Sean, Ginny and Josh are in the last scene. If your name was listed please walk promptly to the Jolly Rodger."

Jen's POV:    Today was the very last day shooting for Once Upon a Time, the show I have been on for seven years. In the next hour, we would be shooting the very last scene of the show, ending a down-hill season seven. The show had been doing very well through season five. However, seasons six and seven lost thousands of viewers and ratings were way down.

    The clouds were dark and the cast and crew were very somber. We have been a family for seven years, being with each other through everything; divorce, marriage, children, cancer, etc. I'll admit it; I have no plans for after the show ends; acting wise and relationship wise.

I have never been married. I've been engaged, but the relationship fell through. To be honest, I don't have a direct answer as to why things ended. We had been on a show together called "House" where we played love interests, but our on-screen relationship dulled out and eventually ended. We have not talked in a very long time, nor have I with any of my other exes. I've moved on, but maybe not in the best way.

Over the past six years, I have had a love interest on the show with Captain Hook. The characters have grown so much together. They have been through many hardships, but have always come out stronger at the end of the day. The actor who portrayed Captain Hook goes by Colin O' Donoghue. He is so funny. He is so kind. He loves children. He is intelligent. He is so handsome, it's not funny. He is also married with 2 children.

    I know. I know it was wrong to fall for someone so hard and know you can do nothing about it. I do not want to take the kids' father away, or his wife's husband. But I can't help thinking that Colin acts differently around me than he does his own wife, Helen. I know fans around the world have always rooted on me and Colin, and if they ever found out I had these feelings, it would be a mess. That is why after this final scene, I have to forget about Colin and move on. I have to.

Now I, with all these mixed feelings was aboard the Jolly Rodger. I slowly looked up, cameras and lights all on me. I draped the veil over my face and walked down the aisle toward Killian. Emma and Hook were finally getting a happy ending; but as for me and Colin? Not so much.

In that moment, for a split second, I pretended this was mine and Colin's wedding.