The Rules and Regulations of Love (Nalu Fanfic)

Chapter Sixteen

Natsu

Rule Number Sixteen: Hiding Your Feelings Eventually Blows Up In Your Face

Later that night I lay in bed staring at my ceiling. I had my hands behind my head, and I just listened to the ticking of my alarm clock and Lucy's soft breaths. Sighing, I got out of bed and pulled on my boxers, taking one last look at Lucy before leaving my room quietly and walking down the hall to the kitchen. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I filled it with water and drank thirstily, not leaving one drop of water in the glass. Sighing, I glanced at the clock and swore when I saw it was three thirty in the morning. I knew I should be asleep, like Lucy, but I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to sleep. Because if I did, my nightmare would come back, and that was the last thing in the world that I wanted to happen, especially since Lucy was here.

She'd called her parents earlier in the evening to tell them she was staying at a friend's house, and they hadn't questioned her, just told her to be a big girl and stay out of trouble. Yeah. . .we really listened to that warning. Now though, I was regretting telling Lucy to stay with me. I didn't want her to see me after I'd woken up from a nightmare; I was weak, sweaty, and most of the time I was crying. That wasn't the way a guy wanted his girlfriend to see him. Well, I didn't know if Lucy was exactly my girlfriend, but I'd ask her when she woke up. I wasn't going to go to sleep though. It was bad enough that she'd seen me after a nightmare earlier in the day, even if it wasn't as bad as it was the day before. At least yesterday I wasn't crying or stumbling around. I'd just laid on my bed, breathing heavy, a sheen of cold sweat covering my entire body. I didn't want her to see when it was even worse, when I could hardly breathe and when I was crying like a baby.

I remembered the nightmare I'd had yesterday, the image all too clear in my mind. I was driving my dad's car and he was sitting in the passenger seat, both of us singing along to the Nat King Cole tape my dad had stuck in his CD player, having a great time. I don't know where we'd been going. I suppose it didn't matter in the long run. But as we'd been driving, something happened. The brake pedal stuck and wouldn't move, and the car seemed to speed up. I tried with all of my might to press the brake down, but no matter how hard I tried nothing happened. And then out of nowhere a huge semi-truck appeared out of thin air, slowing down for a stoplight, carrying tons of gas. I knew what was going to happen. I still tried to stop it though. Nothing could stop my dad's car from hurtling down the road though, straight for the semi-truck. Bracing myself, I let out a yell right before our car crashed into the semi-truck and burst into flames. My dad flew through the windshield. I stayed in the car. Flames licked all around us, the fumes sickening, and as I choked in air I screamed for my dad, terrified. The firemen pulled me out of my dad's burning car, saved me from certain death. My father hadn't been so lucky.

And then I'd woken up, drenched in sweat, tears running down my entire face, wheezing for air. A few minutes later I'd heard a knock on the front door, but I couldn't get up. It was like I was frozen. Lucy had walked through my bedroom door a few moments later, looking concerned. I'd be concerned to. I'd told her to just leave me alone for a bit and that I'd be okay. She hadn't though; she'd taken care of me, making sure I was okay. I wasn't though. I'm still not. I can still hear my father's agonizing screams and cries as he was sent forward into the fire, because of me. I'd had similar dreams shortly after my father's death. The psychologist my mom had forced me to see had said I'd been having the dreams because I felt guilty about my dad's death. And I was. He was killed because of me. Sure, I hadn't been in the car with him when he'd died, but he'd been out for me. It had been a little past midnight when my dad had gone out, heading for the movie store in town to buy me some video game I'd been bitching about getting all week. I'd said that I'd go get it when he finally gave in, but with a sigh, he told me he'd go so that I didn't end up buying three other games too. He never came back.