Falling In Love... HA! Yeah Right!

Chapter 5~ My Crazy Family

 "Well, they all seem to be very unique kids, aswell as an interesting family, and they don't mind, so I thought the song [Born This Way] would be good!" - kpimolly

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"Where the hell have you been?!?" John asked. Sam was right by his side, with his arms crossed. It was times like this where you could really tell they where twins! Both of their facial expressions where the same, John wasn't wearing his reading glasses, both of them in jeans, their blond hair messy their hazel blue eyes glaring at me. Sam's eyes where a bit softer though.

"Movie and bowling night," I answered.

"Yesterday, you didn't come home. Where were you?" Sam asked. He sounded a lot calmer than John. This was weird. Normally Sam would be the one practically yelling and John would be the calm one.

"I went to a friend's house," I answered simply.

"Who's?" John asked.

"Seth," I replied.

"Seth who?" Sam and John asked.

"New British kid," I said, shrugging.

"Jamie-"

"Look, I know I should be 'careful around guys' since I'm like unbelievable sexy but I can defend myself. If a guy tries anything, I know what to do," I said. John looked relieved but Sam just smirked.

"What do you do if-"

"Break his nose. While he's distracted, knee him when the sun doesn't shine. Give him a good punch in the eye. Once he's on the ground, step on his... you know, and then walk away as if nothing happened," I said. I've been following that rule since the 3rd grade.

"But-"

"Don't do it on family unless it's you and you're annoying the crap outta me," I answered.

"But just to be sure," Sam said.  

"That was too easy," I said crossing my arms. "I'm going to bed. Bye," I said heading upstairs. "Night night! Don't let the bed bugs bite!" 

 I was about to open my door as my youngest brother, Jake stepped in front of me.

"Jamie... Can I sleep with you? The monsters under my bed are making noses again," Jake asked.

"Sure kiddo. But why me?" I asked.

"Everyone else has monsters under their bed but you because the monsters are scared of you," Jake said. I laughed.

"Alright, let's go," I said, picking up the 4 year old.

***

I woke up to the sound of whimpering. I put a pillow over my head to muffle the sound. It took me a few seconds to remember that Jake slept with me. I immediately shot up. I wrapped my arms around the sobbing child and pulled him closer to my chest. I started rocking him until his sobs stopped.

"What's the matter buddy?" I asked.

"N-n-n-nightmare," Jake stuttered.

"You know what makes nightmares go away?" I asked. Jake shook his head. "Candy." Jake smiled. I picked up Jake and carried him downstairs. John and Sam where both up staring blankly into the T.V.  I placed Jake between the two then went to the kitchen. I got out a chocolate bar and split it in half. Once I returned to the living room, John was out cold snoring so loudly the whole neighborhood could probably hear it; Sam was talking to Jake who stared at him in awe.

"Here you go," I said as I handed Jake the smaller piece of the chocolate bar. He examined the piece then looked at Sam.

"No thank you... I'm just gunna stay down here with Sam." Jake said. I shrugged and went up stairs happily munching on the chocolate bar.

***

I woke up to the smell of pancakes, eggs, and a lot more breakfast food. I jumped up and raced downstairs.

"Morning sleeping beauty," My step mom, Jen, teased.

"Yes, am I indeed a beauty," I said, flipping my hair. Jen laughed.

"There's my diminutive sister!" My younger brother James said as he hugged me.

"What the hell?" I asked pushing him off of me. "And what on earth does that mean?"

"Small, tiny, teeny-we-"

"Ok! I get it! And I'm not small." I said crossing my arms.

"Right, you fun sized.... Yet you can't go on a few roller coasters," James teased. I flipped him off. "Jeeeeeennnnn! She gave me the finger!"

"Jamie! Go into the corner!" Jen teased. I pouted.

"No! Not the corner! It's so lonely! Plus it smells like feet," I complained.

"Nope! You know the rules! No cursing," Jen said trying not to laugh. She went back to cooking and somehow burned herself. "Mother fucker!" James and I gasped over dramatically.

"You cursed! Into the corner!" James said grabbing her right wrist as I grabbed her left. James and I started dragging her into the corner while Jen laughed and shouted for dad to help her.

"What in the world is going on here?" Dad asked coming down stairs in nothing but pajama pants.

"She cursed! So she does into the corner!" James answered. I nodded.

"Why did I take you two out of drama again?" Dad asked.

"It was lame," I answered.

"Guys where hitting on me," James added.

"The teacher was crazy,"

"The girls kept avoiding me when I flirted with them,"

"I got kicked out for punching that one chick in the jaw,"

"That one chick was the teacher-"

"OK! I get it!" Dad shouted.

"Only you'd punch a teacher," Jen said shaking her head. I just shrugged.

"It was self defense. She kept trying to drag me somewhere," I stated.

"True. But a simple-"

"FFFFIIIIRRRREEEE!!!!!" Kevin, younger brother, shouted. His voice echoed the silent house. Jen raced back into the kitchen and there was indeed a fire. No one was surprised though. It's not the first time. Yet Kevin always freaked out over small things like that. He was hysterical when there was a snake in the house. The snake was actually Sam's pet snake which we had for years.

My thoughts were interrupted when fire extinguisher foam was being sprayed everywhere. It got the fire, but it also got everywhere else. Including my face. I held my breath and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes when there was nothing but the sound of breathing and Kevin's muffled sobs. I did tell you that he was a sacredly cat right? He's a 14 year old baby.

"What happened in here?" John asked.

"Nothing. Let's just clean it all up," Jen said. I groaned. There goes my Saturday.