One Month to Find Your Way (BoyXBoy) ON HOLD

Chapter 5

**James POV**

I didn't care that I was soaked. I didn't care that I was freezing. I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered. My heart had been brutaly broken into pieces, but that was what I was trying to accomplish, right? I knew it was, but now I was regretting it. I just didn't expect for it to feel like this, to hurt so much I just wanted to lose it. I wanted to throw a tantrum, act like a little kid again, I wanted it to stop.

I felt my self slipping, my wolf withdrawing from myself. Crawling deeper into my human shell, not wanting to come out, not wanting to feel the pain anymore. I felt my wolf close its eyes, and I did the same. We didn't want to hurt anymore. We didn't want to feel the pain. I fell to the forest floor, barely noticing the wet pine needles against my face.

Barely noticing the rapid footsteps approaching me as everything turned black.

**Landon's POV**

I gently touched my lips, thinking of the kiss I had shared with James a few hours earlier. I stared at my cream colored ceiling, laying on my comfy bed. Then I just started to think. I mean, I didn't think that I was.. I gulped, then shook my head, not wanting to deny it anymore. Gay. I was gay. I don't know why, but I really only felt attraction to James, and only James. Not sure why, but whenever that boy was around me, I got all nervous and moody. Like some chick. Not the confident person I usually was. Just something about his bright green eyes, that always seemed to be sparkling with mischief.. Or his dimpled cheeks, whenever he smiled or laughed.. The way his soft brown hair sometimes fell into his face, causing a look of agitation from him...

I chuckled at how adorable he could be, like a little puppy really. Then I thought of when we were in the halls, him doubled over in pain, blacking out from the force of it. I frowned. I didn't like seeing him in pain, that's for sure.. And when I found him crying near the school.. That just broke my heart. I hated seeing him like that, I just.. I just wanted to comfort him, but I wasn't sure how. Then he told me he was angry with me, and I just lost it.

I felt my forehead crease as I thought of the way I screamed at him, and left him there sobbing his eyes out. And on the drive home, it started to rain. Even though I sort of felt resentment towards him (for right now anyways) I hope that he had at least made it home safe.

I shook my head, I can't think about this any longer. It upset me too much. I looked at the clock. It was only 8:30. I sighed. Well, looks like an early night tonight. I couldn't stay up anymore, I would just think about him, and would feel more guilty than I should.

Stripping down to my boxers, I threw my clothes on the floor, crawled under the covers, and went to sleep.

(THE NEXT DAY)

Blinking my eyes open, I stretched and yawned. Glancing out my window, I saw that it was still pouring, rain puddles gathering in the street. I remembered how I had left James, and what happened before that. I cringed. I felt so guilty about this, but I know I shouldn't.

I mean, it was his fault, right? I didn't do anything, he kissed me. So why did I feel so guilty all of a sudden? Like... I had lost something.. Something precious that didn't belong to me. Or.. maybe it did, but I just... I sighed. I don't know.  

Grabbing a towel, I went into the bathroom down the hall and turned the shower on. I took off my boxers and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water relax me. This is what I needed, a nice hot shower to make me forget all about.. I cringed. That. I soaped my body, my hands running up and down my muscular body. I rubbed some shampoo into my hair, then rinsed it out. I stood in the shower for a moment, my eyes closed, and let the water flow down my body. I tried not to think, tried to keep my mind clear. I must've stood in the shower longer than I thought, because the next thing I knew, someone was knocking on the door.