Sometimes I dwell in the past;
remembering every word you uttered,
every act you executed,
and every syllable and gesture
left for none but the wind to drift away with.
Sometimes, I compare the phases I've lived through;
how, as day rose and fell,
true happiness was never an acquaintance;
how, as night drew,
I curled into a ball of nakedness--
tears, blood, and the remnants of what little dinner I had,
mingled with the scalding shower overhead.
How I grew accustom to the sound of only my voice
in the darkness of night, comforting me with illusions.
Convincing myself I knew no such thing
as violation and loneliness.
That I wasn't insane.
And you have the nerve,
the nerve,
to tell me you understand--
that you know me.
When the truth is, you don't.
And it is you, who has instilled this amplified notion
of pure hatred, in which I stew in;
it is you, who has destroyed what little confidence
I had, and tore apart my dreams--
my passions.
And I realise now, you never really could fix me--
never really were able to solve all my anxieties,
even, if at the time I believed you could.
No. You added fuel to the fire, which consumed me;
spitting words of discouragement and nastiness--
trapping me in your little bubble of negativity.
You refused to let me grow.
And I realise now,
you only made things worse,
for you are a lingering nightmare.
Copyright © 2015 Caasie Cabral-Pereira
All rights reserved.
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Ramblings
PoetryA collection of notes, poetry and other rambles that have no place to go... **I have a new pocket sketchbook, where I write short phrases along with a sketch. The phrases will be posted in here as well.**
