Title: Fun Gone Wrong (A One Direction Fan-Fiction)
Author: luvonedirectionvegas
Genre: Fanfic
Chapters: 5 out of 9
Blurb: Imogen Tomlinson has always been the typical good girl. Now, she wants nothing to do with that image. But, it isn't that easy. Imogen finds it difficult to discontinue that image. But, once she starts, she realises how much trouble she is in.
Review: "Fun Gone Wrong" is a fanfiction written from the perspective of Imogen, Louis Tomlinson's younger sister. The book begins with a "prologue", then continues into eight chapters that follow Imogen and her friends as they attempt to make their way to Vegas for a night of fun. However, the 'fun' they so desperately sought quickly turns sour for main character Imogen as she finds herself the leading lady in an embarrassing and potentially reputation ruining video highlighting her drunken escapades. Through the end of Chapter 5, Imogen must deal not only with the crisis of the leaked video, but also with the anger of her overprotective older brother, Louis.
The positive aspect of the story is that the plot is fairly well developed. It details a situation which celebrities face often, and is something that is very relevant to today's society. Unfortunately, however, this is where I am forced to halt any praises.
The story is plagued by grammatical errors, making it a difficult read. The author frequently switches between the past and present tenses, leaving myself and (I'm sure) other readers confused and unable to keep up with exactly what is happening. There are also countless punctuation issues: misplaced periods, missing apostrophes, and inappropriate comma use/comma splices in nearly every paragraph. At times, I was forced to skip and skim whole portions of the work due to the atrocious grammar. Another issue with the work is its complete overkill of dialogue as well as constant dialogue explanation. Every time someone speaks (which makes up approximately ¾ of the chapters I read), the author insisted on following up with, "Said Ashley". This is a common occurrence and one that is a personal turn-off for any work. The final issue I have with this work is the author's need to tell readers everything there is to know about each character, rather than allowing the story to serve its purpose in doing so. Readers are not supposed to know everything about every character as soon as they are mentioned; it is important to allow the story itself to provide those details through the characters' body language, tone, dialogue, interaction with other characters, etc. As a reader, I do not want to be told that, "That's why I'm closer to Lizzy. She always, understands what I need." I want to be shown that.
Summation: While "Fun Gone Wrong" has the potential to be an interesting read, the author's lack of basic grammatical skills coupled with the inability to write in a way which allows the story to do what it should are major and inexcusable flaws.
Rating: 2/10
Reviewed By: sj13396
