My Saving Grace (book 2)

September 25, 2025

From then on the arguments became louder and more frequent. The smallest things could tip either one of them off. Like the fact that Toby's shoe lace was untied and he tripped, Scott would blame Alex for not looking after him. Or if they had to order take out because there's no food, Alex would blame Scott for being lazy. The kids were terrified! Not only were they still getting over Noah, they were dealing with listening to their parents arguing almost every night.

Scott spent a lot of his time with Mitch. Just to get out of the way of the house. Staying there over night if Alex and he had an argument. Going there after rehearsals to have a couple more hours in free head space. Mitch knew how to comfort him and make him feel better. (Yes, alcohol may have been an attributing factor to that!)

Alex tried to look over it but he felt jealous of Mitch. Scott was spending more time with Mitch that he was with himself. He knew that nothing would ever go on between and that Scott would never cheat on him, but that little jealous streak in him wouldn't let him believe that. He had let go of Noah yet, either. He was still trying to come to the terms with the fact that he would never see that beaming smile or hear that cheeky laugh again. He didn't think he would ever get used to that!

Jessica tried so hard to ignore what they were saying. She didn't understand, she would tell herself. But she had heard about things like this in school, far too much. It was how divorces started. She kept the emotions bottled in and soon she would explode. She had already punched another kid in her grade after school the other day. This time not bringing it to her parents attention. She was angry. Angry that Noah had died and ruined her parents relationship! It was all his fault!

Toby sat in bed every night staring up at the ceiling. He would roll over and see the empty bed that his brother used to occupy, he would cry silently as not to set off his parents who were so sensitive at the moment. He played that day over and over in his head. The pictures getting more and more vivid. The sounds almost real again. He just wanted one of his parents to pick him up and tell him that it would all be okay. That the pain will all go away soon but they were too caught up in their own grief and anger to notice him breaking.

Scott and Alex didn't sleep at night. Sleep, for Alex, only welcomed the demons that haunted his dreams. That day playing over in his head. Nightmares lurking on every closed eye lid. Sleep, for Scott, was only interrupted by blood curdling screams and gasps. Tears streaming down his loves face. And that was the only time they wouldn't argue because they both felt that pain. The horrible grief!

Scott was stood at the kitchen sink, his eyes fixated out the window at Jessica and Toby who were sat on the grass making daisy chains. It was a Saturday. In late autumn. Jessica had just turned ten and Toby's birthday was next week, meaning Noah's birthday was next week. Meaning memories! Scott was caught up in his head. Thinking about how much Toby and Noah looked alike, yeah they were twins, but when Noah was alive he never mixed them up. Now Noah is dead he is constantly accidentally using his name in place of Toby's!

He couldn't hear what the kids were saying but they seemed to be in deep conversation about something. They had been doing that a lot recently. Talking together quietly. Sticking together. Walking each other to and from classes in school. Hanging out together at lunch times. Not leaving each other's sides.

"Scott!" Scott was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Alex's voice directly behind him. He turned and blinked at Alex who had an annoyed look on his face. "Scott, I've been calling your name for five minutes." He said, aggravated.

"Sorry, I didn't hear." Scott said, his voice almost failing on him. He didn't have the energy to argue.

"Well maybe you need to get out of your head!" Alex snapped. Scott's eyes went wide. What had set him off like that? He had literally done nothing wrong!!

"Calm down. What did you want me for?" Scott asked, trying to dismiss it.

"Don't tell me to calm down! You know what it doesn't matter, I'll do it myself!" Alex began to turn. Scott was so confused and yet felt this anger build up inside of him.

"Okay, what did I do?!" Scott snapped. His emotions were running high. He felt ready to break at any moment and would take his anger out on anyone. Even if it was Alex and visa versa!

"It doesn't matter! I just want you to stop being so lazy!" Alex said stepping forward. Scott stepped backwards, throwing his hands up into the air in frustration.

"Me, lazy? What about you!?" Scott said, offended!

"Oh yeah, it's not like I stay at home and take car of our kids while you're out living your dream with your best friends and possible lover!" Alex snapped, sarcastically. He didn't even know what he was saying by now. Words were just coming out of his mouth in a steady flow.

"What the fuck?! If you're referring to Mitch, you know what he means to me! He's my best friend and you know that! And it hurts me that you'd think I'd ever cheat on you!" Scott said, stepping forward to square Alex up, their noses almost touching.

Alex shook his head a little. "I see the way you look at him!" Scott couldn't believe his ears. What was Alex saying? Did he even know what he was saying himself? Because he sounded crazy!

"You don't know what you're saying do you? You obviously don't see the way I look at you! Yes, I look at Mitch with complete adoration but I look at you with love and compassion and everything under the sun! Don't bring Mitch into this because he has done nothing but be kind and caring towards you!" Scott felt deeply offended at Alex's words. He was talking out of his ass.

"I know! But you're spending more time with him at the moment than with me!"

"Yeah, maybe that's because every time I look at you I think of Noah! And that hurts me!"

"Well there's nothing we can do about that is there!?" Alex was shouting now.

"Yeah? Well at least it's not my fault our son is dead!" Scott heard his voice bounce off the walls at the dead silence that followed his words. He regretted them immediately and his hands flew up to his mouth. "Alex...I- I didn't mean it. I didn't know what I was saying."

"Get out." Alex said calmly, through gritted teeth. Tears began to fall one by one down his face.

"What?" Scott asked in complete astonishment.

"I said, GET OUT!" Alex shouted, pushing Scott towards the front door.

"I-I-" Scott stammered as he felt himself being pushed and the door opening. Alex shoved him making him stumble back onto the ground, his ass breaking his fall.

"Don't Scott! You and I both know you were telling the truth, otherwise you wouldn't have said it. If that's how you feel then leave!" Alex screamed, slamming the door in Scott's face.

Scott stood up, banging his fist against the door. "Alex, please! I'm sorry! Please! I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! I love you! Don't make me go!" Scott shouted through tears but the house was silent. He slammed his fist against the door again, now noticing the soft sniffles on the other side of the door. He could almost picture Alex sat against the door with his head in his hands.

Scott soon realised he was attracting attention from other houses. Children coming out to have a look, adults peeking out of curtains. He knew he wasn't going to get through to Alex. He had really fucked up this time!

He gave up, walking towards his car and getting in. He found himself driving to Mitch's, the only place he knew as a second home. He knocked as soon as he reached the door. It was opened and he immediately fell into awaiting arms.

"I'm an idiot!"