I have lost everything.
I look in the mirror and see my short hair, my grey eyes. I look nothing like an angel girl.
But I'm not an angel girl, I remind myself. An angel girl thinks with her head, not her heart.
An angel girl would have left Andres, left him when she had the chance. She wouldn't be standing here without her virginity or her confidence, forcing a smile on her face. She wouldn't be dreading the moment where she's made Wingless.
But I am.
I swallow hard. God, I'm so stupid. I should have known that Andres would play me. Demons are cold, stone cold. I can't believe I fell for his little act.
I was just desperate. So desperate for others approval that I took the first person that would have me. I learnt my lesson, though.
I don't trust. I don't love. And from now on, I fight for my own approval. Trust, love, and other people - it's just snake venom in a bottle of perfume. They've brought me nothing but hardship.
I close my eyes and put on the clothes I sewed together. My jeans have little roses on them. Beautiful as they are, they make me want to throw up. Andres sewed those roses.
Andres makes me want to throw up.
My heart aches from his betrayal, but at the same time, all my feelings are gone. I fell in love with the handsome boy that saved my life, that made me laugh, the one that told me I was beautiful. The first person who told me I was beautiful, ever.
Not the cruel demon boy who manipulated my feelings and took away everything I ever wanted.
*
I arrive where we're set to meet. The angels all look okay. Apart from the slight burning sensation in my hip, which is still a little sore, I suppose I'm okay too, actually. Hurt, sad, full of dread, but strangely okay.
I can tell that for a few moments, nobody recognizes me. Then I see a pretty girl - I think her name's Marianne - blink in shock, then she runs forward and throws her arms around me, like I'm best friends.
"Cadi! Your new haircut - it so suits you," she giggles. "So, do you know if anyone is becoming Wingless?"
I remember Marianne now. She was always a total gossip.
I smile, a little sadly. "Yeah."
Her big blue eyes almost pop out of her head. "Who?" she gasps, practically melting with excitement.
"Me," I reply, shortly.
She lets out a little squeal at that. "Why?"
I shrug. I'm not going into the matter with Marianne.
She shoots off at a slightly frightening speed to tell the news to her friends. After that, everyone keeps a safe distance from me, as if becoming Wingless is catching.
It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would.
When the portals - to Heaven and Hell - finally open, I see our King. His name is Peter, and he always seemed kindly, benevolent, but slimy. I felt like he'd turn from your best friend to your worst enemy in five seconds, depending on what happened. With him is his wife Claire and his daughter Celeste, who's only eleven years old. Her long pale blonde hair is tied in a braid and her big eyes are framed with long, thick lashes.
She's the sort of girl that would be loved by her parents, who would never fall in love with a demon, never become Wingless.
The sort of girl I'll never be.
"Angels, congratulations. Please come into the portal promptly," he says with a smile, that smile I've never quite trusted.
I go, my heart heavy. I can feel my wings ready to sprout. How long will it be until I can't feel them at all?
YOU ARE READING
Fallen
Paranormal'Found, discovered, fallen ... it's all the same thing, really.' First Cadi was abused and excluded; Then she was used and flattered; And now she is Fallen. ~An angel who has never really fitted in in Heaven, Cadi is scared at the prospect of the in...
