Drowning Lessons (Frerard AU)

Twenty Nine - It's Not A Bad Dick

Running my hand through my hair I headed into the dining hall, trying to push away the fear I had for Mikey's incredibly suspicious smirk and good taking to me this morning, I couldn't deny it scared me a little. Everyone in the entire fucking school knew just how much Mikey hated me, just how he hated the thought that I even spoke to Gerard, let alone that I was friends with him, but after the day before, I just couldn't understand how he could even stomach my face. If he didn't already hate me enough, it was safe to say it was kind of the end of the world for any hope of us even being slight friends after I did the one thing he demanded I didn't do. Admittedly I didn't give the slightest fuck, Mikey was an ass and he did not control my life, nor did he control Gerard's but we did plan on not telling him so he didn't go insane. I didn't even know why he hated me or why I couldn't be with Gerard. I certainly didn't see why he couldn't just let Gerard be happy because Gerard wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him.

However him walking in on Gerard and I was probably the biggest thing which could go wrong for me and for Gerard, but surprisingly Mikey did nothing like what I expected him to. It was hard not to picture Mikey finding out at some point, because at the end of the day, the school was small, everyone knew everyone, everyone had spoken to everyone and if the smallest secret got out, the whole school knew by the end of the fucking day. I didn't mind my friends knowing I didn't care if everyone knew to a certain extent but I didn't want Mikey to know, because I knew shit would go wrong when he knew. Since day one I knew we wouldn't be able to keep it secret forever, it was inevitable, I wouldn't tell Mikey and Gerard wouldn't tell Mikey but it was just one of those things, it's so obvious that it will at some point happen and I was bracing myself for it, I was bracing myself for Mikey to explode like a fucking volcano. But he didn't.

Maybe it was the fact that he didn't explode with anger, screaming profanity and blasphemy at me that shocked me most, which made me so confused and hesitant towards him, because that was what I expected. I expected to be slapped in the face, or punched, or beaten, or sworn at, in fact I was even wondering if I would end up in hospital and I was almost hoping that maybe it would result in the school having to reroom me, but none of that happened. Ignoring my slight upset about not having to be reroomed, I was still rather unhappy and displeased about the whole situation, which sounded a little weird, because of course it was good that nothing happened and Mikey didn't hurt me, but that was a little off putting. In all honesty I would rather have him hit me or scream at me, tell me he hated me or slap me, than him do nothing, because if he took his anger out on me, at least we both knew he had been angry and he had hurt me and he would feel better. However him not doing that made me wonder what he would do, because if he wasn't going to hurt me then I couldn't believe he would just brush it off, he hated me so much that he would take any tiny opportunity to make my life hell and that sure as fuck was a reason to make my life hell.

I had run away pretty much straight away and I had stayed out if my room as late as I could, I had also stayed away from Mikey, but eventually I had to go back to my room. Gerard had asked me to stay in his bed and he would sleep in mine, but I protested because honestly I was convinced that would make things worse with Mikey so eventually I went back. Mikey simply stared blankly at me, with what was almost a smile and didn't speak to me. I sat in bed for a while snapchatting Gerard and when I was ready for bed Mikey was asleep. He hadn't even looked angry at me that was off-putting honestly.

Trying my hardest to push that aside, I walked into the hall, into a room filled with hushed chatter, people shocked and confused, laughing hunched over themselves, showing everyone else something. Proof that things spread pretty damn quick here, because nobody had anything to do but homework or spreading other peoples shit, if you thought gossip was big at state schools, just wait until you get into a private school, because it becomes much bigger. You could be the nerdiest most hated kid in school, if you have gossip everyone loves you, because it's something to talk about, just like a scandal or something notorious, nothing happens, as soon as a girl gets pregnant or someone gets fired they are bigger news the Caitlyn Jenner. But one thing was for sure, something big had happened in the night, or I say big, it could simply have been that that random girl no one knows started her period, but people treat everything big, so it looked big from my view, walking in on a buzzing gossiping hall at eight am, when most of the time it was close to silent.