i dont wanna feel like nothing in life. and believe me know a lot of people say that but the inevitable feeling of knowing that one day i may mean nothing is too unbearable to think about. i like to make people happy, i like to do a lot of things but im not talented at anything.
i feel like a brick wall.
i just want to make people around me proud to say, "hey! i know her!" BUT i cant because im too young right now and i feel like i will never be able to do it and sometimes i look in the mirror and i cant even be proud to say, "hey! i am her!". i cant make myself happy sometimes, so how am i gonna make other people happy? UGH.
sometimes i wish i was a sperm that didnt make it.
i have nothing to look forward to in life and that worries me because i wanna be happy and healthy but i cant do that.
and then theres the inevitability of death.
knowing that one day, i will not roam this world again is great sometimes, but other times i cant handle thinking about it. i wanna make a difference i wanna do so many things before i die but i only have so much time and not enough money i cant DO THIS
I WANNA LIVE MY LIFE HAPPY WITH NO WORRIES BUT NO MATTER WHAT ROLE YOU PLAY ON THIS EARTH THERE ARE ALWAYS WORRIES AND STRESS I CANT DO THIS I WANT TO D I E.
i wish i didnt care what anyone thinks i wish i didnt chop my hair off i wish i never gained weight i wish i wish I WISH.
yup well this is all for now bye
-hayden.
