Sometimes I really, really hate myself. I hate who I've become, I hate who I was, and I hate who I'm going to be. This life is not for the weak. How many chances do I get till I completely blow it? Does God even hear my cries? Can he even hear my thoughts? I think that one day I was pure. Full of love, full of life. I keep waiting to be saved, but I gotta put in the work. Working hard gets you places, but it seems like the excuses are getting bigger as well as the consequences. I grew up in the church, so God's not foreign to me. But I've completely lost my way. Anger and saddness bought me here. I feel very strongly about a lot of things. I can't help but to think that everyone is out to get me. I try to have a relationship with everyone, but I always go unnoticed. I try to make things right if I feel I was wrong, but some things are out of my control. I keep trying to focus on the things I CAN control, but it feels like everything is going haywire. I keep looking for love in all the wrong places: security, peace, and hope. I always come up empty eventually. I'm just a fucking girl, who is lost.
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Stinkin Thinkin
Non-FictionI've been struggling with depression for some time now and I'm trying so hard to overcome it but these are just some of the thoughts that runs through my head constantly that I need to let out so I put it in writing. *****This might contain "trigger...
