Listed by law as a domestic violence crime. It is the guy who earns well above the minimum wage but only pays 5 dollars a week in child support, or, if you are still together, the guy who controls you financially by regulating how much money you have access to, even if you earned it. The former, in my experience, can be a much more oppressive crime by nature of how long it can last. This isn't a government agency slip-up, their requirements are quite clear, and it has little to do with this agency failing to protect the rights of children. It is a very simple sad matter of mentally ill men operating out of spite, yet another childish control mechanism. If they can no longer control you physically, mentally, or emotionally, they opt for the longest and harshest tactic: the subjugation and oppression of your child's lifestyle, opportunities and daily nourishment, by default, because it is really you whom he seeks to deprive.
It is not a popular topic, that of child support, due to the many instances where this system is abused by well-to-do parents who don't require the financial support, often bankrupting the payer in the process, but in the instance where it is known that financial support is required, and by law, demanded by simple ethics, it stands to reason that such support be given voluntarily, not used as a last resort abuse of the basic human right to have adequate shelter, food, and clothing.
Understandably, many put forward the claim, and the speculation, that the guardian is not prevented from earning as much income as they like, so how would the withholding of child support be an issue. And these are the sorts of conjectures thrown up by the unwitting who remain unaware that both parents are financially responsible for their children. It is actually quite remarkable to consider that anyone could miss this simple point, but it remains the most excused point by the simple-minded who adhere to lesser opinions and dramatic overtones regarding what they deem to be right and fair.
It is the guy who refuses to seek adequate employment because it simply does not suit him, the guy who spends the money on himself, the guy who spends his child's inheritance money on himself, the guy who, in front of witnesses, declares quite proudly, when asked why he does not voluntarily pay more - "Because you deserve it." This is the confession of a seriously mentally ill person, a manipulator, an abuser, an arrogant and ignorant halfman taking pride in exercising control over the quality of life of those whom he should provide for. I experienced 15 years of late payments, of phone calls and stress chasing these payments, of budgeting for these payments, only to be vampiralised all over again when the money didn't come through, the inconvenience, the deliberate interference withthe smooth flow of my life; this is how an abuser gets his kicks, like a buzzing, nagging, mosquito. It is the freedom you no longer have to live your life without simultaneously accommodating the petty bullshit of someone you escaped from over a decade ago purely because he is not man enough to do the right thing, again, that male pride being the main factor, the refusal to take responsibility for his role as a parent, the refusal to make any semblance of an effort to do so, because he has no desire to do so, and to make your life as difficult as possible, his only desire, all he has to do, is hit you in your wallet.
May I note that I home-schooled my son for 5 of these years, which meant I could not work full-time, so you can see the deplorable act committed when financial abuse is inflicted in this situation. You may even see how deplorable an act is committed when he refuses to grant his son permission to travel out of the country, for no other reason than to prevent his full-time mother from having a holiday.
I write this at 5.44am – reeling from the stench of the realisation of how sick one person can be, because the real face of abuse and domestic violence is not the fist, it is the mind of the man behind it. It is every single attempt to exercise control over, and thwart the happy existence of another human being. Sociopaths are experts at it, it is how they thrive and survive, positively glowing with pride, at all their truly remarkable 'achievements'.
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BIG MAN: A Wake-Up Call for Women
Non-FictionA revolutionary read for women everywhere and a wake-up call not to be ignored. 'Big Man' is a sober account of one woman's experience with domestic violence, focusing on mental, emotional, and financial abuse, which are violations of human rights...
