BIG MAN: A Wake-Up Call for Women

Chapter 5 - The Conspiracy to Keep You Poor

A woman's true wealth is her happiness. If we use this as the basis for the argument that there could be a conspiracy to keep you miserable, the evidence speaks for itself. Clearly, we are not referencing the many happy women flooding the earth in droves as we speak, nor the millions of happy men skipping to work each morning whistling a boy band tune. We can categorically state that true happiness evades most people regardless of gender, but in the context of abusive relationships, we might be served to remember that misery loves company. Miserable bastards are out there, and they are looking for you. They have innumerable complaints about everything ranging from politics, society in general, career issues, family, friends, lifestyle etc.. and in the same instance there are many women who harbour these complaints as well. The kept-wife, for example, who has nothing but complaints about her perfectly reasonable, peaceful passive husband, also exists, but again, in the context of abusive relationships and domestic violence against women, the focus here is on men who insist their partners join them in a downward spiral of negativity, defeatism, and suffocating misery.

Poverty of spirit is the ultimate aim of the sociopath, he wants you to be unhappy to maintain his dominant position in the relationship. He doesn't need to be a sociopath to desire this, he may merely be a particularly egotistical man with issues better left on his mother's breakfast table than at your feet, but the dynamic between misery and domestic violence is ever present and deeply intertwined at the base of whatever psychology drives these men to perpetuate it. If a woman's happiness can be taken away, the abuser feels triumphant. If her poverty of spirit can be assured, he will concoct any reason, and engage in any act, to ensure it. It's all about him, his wants, his feelings, his needs, his drama, his complaints, his frustrations, his issues, his childhood, his victim-complex, and none of anything you may have ever suffered matters. He is now the centre of your world and he wants to keep it that way. What better way to do that than by constantly creating an environment where your happiness is thwarted. God forbid you should ever experience happiness, who knows what you might do?

At its most fundamental level, the wilful act of making someone miserable can be debated. He doesn't know that this is his intention, he's not operating rationally enough to know anything much about why he behaves the way he does. He's on automatic pilot and it doesn't matter how he came to be this way. It only matters that he is this way. Spiritualists might tell you "It's a cry for help. Help him." Don't listen to these people. You are not his therapist, in fact stooping to the level of therapist in any relationship is precisely the thing that will ensure your misery. You will end up spending more time trying to psychoanalyse this mentally ill male than enjoying your own life, and this too, is precisely what he wants; the centre of your attention, as often as possible, and if he doesn't have it, he will get it. It's not that he wants you in this position for your benefit, it is purely for his benefit and the sick sense of satisfaction he feels knowing he can treat you however he pleases, then repeat the cycle, until you are completely drained, deflated, lifeless, miserable: poor.

Earlier we looked at financial abuse as a domestic violence crime, and this is definitely the most literal expression of the conspiracy to keep you poor. With money, you might have freedom, to go where you please and live the life you dreamed of, and we can't have that can we. Poverty at the economic level has proven to create more misery in our confusing world than just about any other injustice. It is the financial abuse that the coward and the bully will use to cement his dominance over, and vampiralism of, your happiness. He may even be cunning enough to refer you to spiritual teachings that suggest our aim as human beings is to learn to be happy with very little, in a bilious twist of life-principles, which is only relevant for materialistic types who need to learn that particular lesson, not the oppressed female struggling to pay her bills. Don't be fooled when this argument is presented to you, that you should be grateful for the little you have. No doubt we are, but that is hardly the point.

If you were a happy fun-loving gal before you met him, why are you not so now? Again, spiritualists will more than happily inform you that your relationship is 'karmic', that it is teaching you something about how you relate, how well you care for yourself, how you allow yourself to be treated, how you come to make decisions to remain with a man who seeks nothing more than your perpetual, spiritually poverty-stricken misery. Are you sure there's not something wrong with you? It can't possibly be all his fault. Don't listen to these people. If you find yourself in a relationship consisting of little more than mental and emotional abuse, or worse still, blatant physical abuse, this is not the time to philosophise. However it came to pass is something you can address well after you have ended this sad excuse for human relations. You might join meditation groups, and 'how to love your self' classes at a later date. There will be plenty of time for others to lure you into their guru cults to perpetuate your admission that you must be deeply flawed to have attracted such a relationship. Be careful of these people also. It's an ego trip.

There is only one relevant fact worthy of admission here: your abuser, no matter how you came to be conned by his initial charms, is part of the conspiracy to keep you poor. He is a member of a global cult that reaches back thousands of years. This fabulous tasty tribe has spread its virus across the entire globe and holds every woman in its grip for as long as it can. There will be no expense spared to make sure you never break free of it, and may only break free of it, if you play their childish game. This is the boys club referred to in a previous chapter, otherwise known as patriarchy. It is the system of thinking that prescribes a dominant and entirely masculine approach to almost everything you can imagine. It is the self-righteous preaching from dominators in regard to whom you should be, as a woman. Even their good advice comes with a catch. If you take it, they are your saviour. If you reject it, you are a problem. Your poverty, mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually, is their only aim. It always has been, and your partner is just one little cell in this virus as it goes to work on the female population world wide.

Don't kid yourself with "Oh the poor man. He doesn't know he is like this because of the way he has been programmed by society, or childhood, or whatever." Your sympathy is the very thing they are counting on. You can probably tell at this point I have no interest in providing excuses for any member of global patriarchy, or its unwitting members. There are plenty of women who subscribe to it too, but to any clear-thinking person, it has only ever represented destruction. On a broader scale, it is the destruction of our habitat, the rape of the earth, the brutal pounding of every political fist, the incessant, annoying noise of a world gone mad, a world made mad by mad men, big men. They don't care about you, and neither does he. Whatever allegiance you feel toward this cult and its crimes against humanity, including the crimes against your person within your own home, must go. By breaking your agreement to participate, you are assisting millions of women to do the very same thing.

The conspiracy to keep you poor is quite deliberate. How could something so allencompassing and devastating at every level, be anything but deliberate? Striving to be happy and doing whatever it takes is also a deliberate act, and something you must keep at the front of your mind the very first time he demeans you. He's giving you an insight into what is in store for you if you indulge him any further. He is not an evolved male. He is yet to become self-aware, to become fully conscious of his true role as a real man. Don't trade your loneliness in for the scraps of affection this guy will give you while he lures you into his misery. Know the signs, read them well, and leave him in the dust. You won't be serving him if you decide to stay. You are not his life-support system, nor his mother, nor any other role he prescribes you to make you his obedient inferior other half. The conspiracy is real, and it is looking for you to be its next victim. Never allow it.