My sisters boyfriend (boyxboy) (completed)

Rain, Rain, go away.

A/N: This chapter was actually really triggering for me to write, for certain reasons, so please be aware that it might be a lot for some of you. It's quite long too.

Kellin triggering chapter

The therapy was a stupid idea. I went once and I already hated it. How is this supposed to help me in any way? Talking to a person I don't like everyday for an hour isn't gonna help me feel any less terrible about myself. Not when I go home to the same things.

Since I've been caught, I haven't done it again. It's been only two days from the day that I went to the doctor and I think I feel even more shitty than I did before.

I can eat anything without throwing it up. It doesn't settle right with my stomach, I mean I haven't kept food in my belly since I was 13 in middle school. So since I can't really eat, I just don't.

I haven't ate anything since I've been caught. I'm starving, but I need to stay strong. I need to hold my ground and think thin. My goal is to weigh 98 pounds. I'm way too heavy, for someone of my height to be 130? That's horrible. I used to weigh 165, I had lost a lot of weight though and I was proud.

Once I'm in shape, I swear I'll stop.

Right now, though? Right now I'm running around my neighborhood. I've been out here for two hours, the sun was going down fast and my legs were gonna give out any second. I had slowed down a great amount from when I had started and I was now drenched in sweat from head to toe.

My phone had been going off like crazy, Kathy kept calling. I decided to stop running so that I could turn my phone off, but as soon as I did, my knees gave out and I collapsed to the floor, my vision getting purple and green. My head spun and my arms went weak, trying to hold myself up. I sat there on the sidewalk for maybe ten minutes? I can't really tell how long it was. I was there for a while though, until my body had calmed down and my vision was back to normal.

I made my way back home on shaky feet, going up the stairs proved to be a difficult task.

I threw myself onto the bed and sighed, the cool air of my room relaxing me.

Then just like that, my peace was ripped and taken for me.

"Kellin, please let me in." It was Kathy. She had knocked lightly on the door and her voice was quiet.

"Just leave me alone."

After a few minutes of silence, I heard a sigh and her light footsteps going further away.

-

"Dinners ready!" I heard from downstairs.

I had no intention on eating.

I stayed up in my room for a while until my mom came in.

"Your foods getting cold, get down there." She ordered. I didn't even look up at her.

"I'm not hungry." I spoke.

"You know what..." She mumbled. "I am so sick of your attitude. What are you trying to accomplish? Are you trying to fucking kill yourself?" She seethed.

I was too sensitive right now, with all the constant things on my mind and everything that's happened this week. I was quick to feel hurt.

"What if I am?" I spoke, sitting up and looking at her, my voice hoarse from not speaking for a few hours. Ever since I was in middle school my mom and I had been budding heads left and right.

She disagreed on something I liked, I fought back. I came out to her in 7th grade and she told me I was confused. I told her in 8th grade that she was right and she was happy with that. I just wanted to make her proud. Both of my parents, but it seems like I can never get it quite right.