xxii. Insanity

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Irisa breathes heavily, her heart racing and her head throbbing. She's fading in and out of consciousness. She doesn't know where she is. She's on the floor. By a door. On a bed. At home. Her location constantly shifts. But everywhere, everywhere that she is – she sees him. Her tiny little brother. Little Tommy. Smiling. Always smiling.

But he is not. He is not smiling. Not anymore. He is dead. He is dead and he is staring at Irisa. So angry. So confused. Her fingers are digging into her frail skin. She's looking into a mirror, but she does not recognise herself. The scene shifts. The mirror is smashed, the pieces of glass all across the floor. And standing amid the broken glass, little Tommy.

"I'm sorry," she pleads, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She is shaking, her teeth chattering. She lets out an ear-piercing scream as Tommy runs towards her, transforming into Maust as the figure in her dreams leaps towards her. She's on the floor by the open door of her very own pristine prison cell. But she can't leave.

She's chained to the wall just by the door, her hands in handcuffs. They're red and sore, bleeding from her trying to remove herself from them. The cool breeze from outside is making her shake. What got her in this position in the first place? She cannot remember anymore. She screeches, and when her voice breaks into a silence, she starts to cry.

"Don't cry." The voice. It's a small voice, so small, so quiet, so childish. "It's okay. Don't cry." She turns her head towards the voice and screams again. It is her brother, but he is covered in blood.

"Stop screaming, you infernal child." It's Maust. She turns back towards the door, where he stands above her. He looks her up and down. Her hair is in a tangled mess, her hands are stained with blood, her eyes are full of fear and underlined with dark bags, her whole body is limp on the floor. "Oh, Irisa. Guard, bring me some food. She looks as if she hasn't eaten or slept or done anything in days."

The food comes in a matter of minutes. Maust crouches in front of her. He raises a spoon full of cold rice into the air in front of her face. She jerks away from him, squeaking in pain as the cuts along her wrists worsen as they scrape, yet again, along the handcuffs. "Just eat, Irisa. Open your mouth." She refuses. "Guard!" he yells. "Make this stupid girl eat." The guard furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head slightly to the side. "You're not a dog, Allesio. Use your words. No, actually, don't. Just open her mouth."

He crouches beside Maust in the doorway, and brings his hands towards Irisa's mouth. She jerks away again, crying out in pain and fear. Maust slaps her with his free hand. Her head slaps against the wall before Allesio grabs her jaw and forces it downwards. It doesn't take too much force, because Irisa is weak enough as it is. The food is shoved into her mouth, with Maust coaxing her to chew and swallow it.

He makes her eat the rest of the food like this. Slapping her when she refuses. Slapping her when she moves away. Forcing Allesio to hold her mouth open. It takes an hour. Maybe more. "Angelo will be here soon," he says after she finishes the food. "Clearly, this is the result of not injecting you for a day." But it isn't. Irisa knows that. Maust is just stupid and blind.

Aleyah is confused. She doesn't know where she is and she doesn't know why her daddy makes her feel so much pain in that room. She doesn't understand what her big brother says in the other room. The nice room. The safe room. She doesn't know where her mother is. She doesn't know anyone in this place. She doesn't know why her daddy doesn't let her have any toys.

The door to her room, with the plain white walls and the hard furniture, opens. Her daddy enters, all smiles and open arms. She shakes her head, not wanting to hug him. "Why am I here, daddy?" she asks.

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