The Moment I Knew (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 8

A/N  What happens in this chapter was originally supposed to happen later, but oh well. 

Also, dedicated to Megan, because I forgot to dedicate the last chapter to her and she helped me come up with ideas for it.

Love you!

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Louis's POV

'161'

I'd been tweeting a number once a day for the past four weeks. On the first day, some fans guessed it, but after a few more days, everyone had caught on. 

The numbers were the amount of days left until Harry got out of rehab. 

The fans all thought it was absolutely adorable that I had a countdown, but I just liked seeing the number decrease. I knew that with each day, six months became shorter.  

It'd been one month since Harry had been in rehab and I could feel myself starting to crumble. I'd walked out of yet another interview, not being able to hear them talk about Harry. I'd skipped another one where we had to sing. I just didn't think it was right to sing without him. Consequently, Zayn, Niall, and Liam had had to sing a trio.  

Just hearing Harry's name hurt. I'd betrayed him by not being there for him and now he was doing the same.  

I'd also gotten the carpet in his room replaced, relieved that I didn't have to be greeted by the dried brown stain.   As the stain disappeared, so did the lingering smell of him in his room. I stuffed my face in his pillow and sheets, the familiar scent rapidly fading. I took to wearing his shirts and jumpers, though they were big on me, around his flat. I didn't wear them out in public, when I actually did go out.  

Liam had risked visiting me after seeing Harry twice more. He told me that Harry still wouldn't speak, but that he did look slightly healthier, like his bones weren't quite so prominent.  As glad as I was to hear the news, I wanted to see it for myself. I needed to know that Liam was telling the truth, that Harry was getting better, at least in the physical aspect.  

He told me about Felix as well. I couldn't help but feel possessive. Harry was my best friend, at least, he had been, and hearing that he had somebody else taking care of him didn't sit well with me.  

Whenever Harry was sick, I was always the one to bring him tea and blankets and to try and nurse him back to health. He'd always done the same for me.

But when I thought about it, it had been a little less than a year since we'd done something like that for each other.  

Even the little things, like saying 'I love you' at the end of a phone call, or hugging each other whenever we saw each other, had stopped. I couldn't place when they had, but I realized with a throb in my heart, that while I had thought Harry and I were best friends, we'd grown far apart without me knowing it.  I didn't know when the last time he and I had gone out together, just us, was. I hadn't wanted to, not wanting to spread rumors.  

I flipped Harry's pillow over and buried my face in it, inhaling deeply and sighing disappointedly when I only smelled myself.  

I wondered if Harry had pulled away from me, or if it had been all my fault. I remembered the fight we had had after Eleanor and I had gotten back together. He had told me himself that me trying to downplay our friendship hurt him, and yet I hadn't listened.  I'd always thought that Harry was this strong, invincible person, like he could withstand anything. He'd always been my rock, the one that I'd go to when I needed somebody. But over time, rocks crumble, and so had Harry.  

I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes as they started to burn. I was tired of crying, but I couldn't help it. I was just so overwhelmed.  

I'd gone into the X Factor wanting to do nothing but sing. I wanted to show the world that I had what it took, that I had the X Factor. I'd ended up being put in a band and gaining four new best mates. I'd become world-famous almost over night; I'd had to adjust to fame quickly. But I hadn't been prepared for all the hate, the rumors, the insanity that was our fans. I had to pay attention to how I interacted with people, namely Harry, I had to watch what I said, how I acted. I had to become somebody who I really wasn't.