The Moment I Knew (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 21

A/N
Sorry this is so short, but I had like an hour and a half to write it.
Love you!!

************************************

Louis's POV

I sat, feeling numb, on Harry's sofa, waiting for Eleanor to arrive. I hadn't needed to tell her that I wasn't at my own place.
What I did have to tell her was what I had done with Ben. I just couldn't take any more guilt. There couldn't be any more secrets.
I was falling apart and everybody knew it, but nobody knew just how messed up I was.
I had the door unlocked.
I heard it open and I looked up.
Eleanor stood, hesitant in the doorway.
"Hi," I said quietly, motioning for her to come over.
I was fairly sure that the fact that I had spent the entire night crying showed on my face. But what else was new? Other than the nice bruise around my right eye from where Ben had hit me.
"Hey, babe. What's going on? You were so upset when you called me last night," she said gently, carefully walking towards me.
I chewed on my lip, feeling the already scabby, raw skin sting under my teeth.
"El," I sighed.
"Louis," she said sternly, "Louis, listen, I know that this relationship has been a mess for months. If you're breaking up with me, just do it, okay?"
She tried to sound brave, but I knew her well enough to hear the waver in her voice. She blinked rapidly.
"No, I'm not. But I...fuck, I slept with somebody last night. I think. I don't know if it really counted as sleeping with somebody cause neither of us finished, but fuck! Fuck, El, it was a guy!" I cried, tears pooling in my eyes.
I'd woken up with pain shooting up my arse and my lower back and pain in my heart and mind.
With as much as my heart had been hurting, I wondered if I wasn't going to have a heart attack eventually.
She stared at me, her eyes wide and confused and full of hurt.
"Why?" she asked quietly.
"I just wanted to know. What it was like and...Christ, I hardly even know myself. I just wanted to know, I just wanted to understand Harry because I don't! I wanted to know what it was like when we did it, but it wasn't good at all and I had to kick the guy out because it hurt so bad and he hit me and I was so scared, El!" I sobbed.
She shook her head slowly, her face contorting in disgust.
"Who the fuck are you in a relationship with anyways, Louis? Me or Harry? You spend all of your time thinking about Harry, trying to figure this whole mess out. Newsflash, Louis, it isn't that hard. He fell in love with you because you're an amazing, wonderful, attractive guy who sometimes crossed the line when it came to your friendship! I fell in love with you for the same reasons! But I'm not in love with that person anymore because that's not you! You say you don't know who Harry is anymore but I have no fucking clue who you are!" she yelled.
I flinched and shrank back into the sofa, hugging my knees.
"I just want to understand," I whispered, "It's driving me crazy, El, please understand! There's so many questions and I don't have any answers and I'm seriously going to to insane and I think I already am!"
Eleanor just stood and looked at me.
"You've had some terrible ideas before, Louis, but I think that getting engaged was the worst one," she said coldly, "It's always been Harry over me, even before this shit happened. He needed you and we were together, you would drop everything and go to him. Just tell me something, Louis. Are you even in love with me anymore? Were you ever? Or were you just in love with the idea of love?"
"No, I was in love with you, El, please believe me! Now, I just don't fucking know anymore," I wailed.
"Then maybe we should just end this, Louis. You're not making an effort to even talk to me anymore and I don't want a fiancée who throws me away just because something tragic happens. I get it a bit, but you're too far gone," she whispered, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.
Eleanor took a few steps towards me and slid the ring off of her finger. She took my hand and squeezed it before gently placing the ring in my palm.
"I wish that I could say that I don't hate you, Louis, but I think that I do. You've broken my heart," she said.
I looked into her eyes. Eleanor looked so hurt and sad, but there was a hard look of determination as well.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled.
"No you aren't," she corrected.
Without a look back towards me, she left.
And as she slipped away, so did the last sliver of my sanity.


Liam's POV

I was getting ready to leave to visit Harry when Louis texted me.
'Can you come over? I think that I need you.'
It didn't make a whole lot of sense, but I figured that that probably wasn't a good thing.
I called Zayn and Niall to tell them that I wasn't going to see Harry and then I left.
I assumed that Louis had gone to Harry's place after he had left mine. He always went there when he was upset.
"Louis?" I called as I stepped inside.
Louis was sitting on the sofa and he looked up at me. I noticed the bruise on his face and the tears steadily rolling past it.
He held up his hand and opened his palm. I leaned closer to see the tiny object that he held.
"Oh, Lou," I whispered, "Did it happen just now?"
He nodded, biting his lip.
"I did something pretty stupid," he sniffled, "And she broke up with me. She hates me, she said so. I've lost everything, Liam! My best friend, my fiancée, my fucking sanity!"
Louis stood abruptly and whipped the ring across the room. It hit the wall and clattered to the ground.
"Louis, it's alright. You were being shit to her, but you can make it up to her if you want," I said, crossing the room towards him.
"But I don't love her anymore!" he shrieked, his eyes wild, "Fuck, I don't even care about her and that's what's so fucking scary! I tried to sleep with some random fucking guy last night but I couldn't and he hit me and I was so scared and fuck, it hurt, Liam, and my arse hurts and my eye hurts and my fucking heart hurts!"
I tried to not show my shock, but it was fairly tough. Louis, sleeping with a guy while he was still in a relationship? Louis was the most loyal person that I knew.
"You don't get it, Liam, I'm seriously going insane!" he yelled, yanking at his hair and doubling over.
He burst into heavy, gasping sobs. I wasn't sure if he was actually crying or if he was just hyperventilating.
I rushed over to him and caught him around the waist before he collapsed to his knees.
"I don't want this anymore!" he wailed.
Louis turned around in my arms and started to hit my chest, his fists loose as his body shook.
Louis was smaller than me and he was weaker, but it still hurt. I let him though. It was better that he took his anger and hurt out on me than himself.
He started to slide down to the ground, but I grabbed him and pulled him to the sofa and onto my lap.
I cradled him as he sobbed.
Suddenly he screamed, sounding so pained and agonized that it scared me.
He screamed and screamed and screamed until his voice gave out.
"I don't want this!" he screamed, "I want to die, Liam!"
My blood ran cold and my eyes widened.
He struggled out of my grip and tried to make his way to the kitchen. I knew that he wanted alcohol and I also knew that he wouldn't find any. I had cleared the place out.
I caught his wrist and he screamed again, angrily.
"Just let me go, Liam!" he shrieked, "I'm ruining everything for people, just let me die!"
I shook my head.
I was scared, bloody terrified actually.
But I cooed at him and pulled him back to the sofa where he screamed and cried and begged to die.



Harry's POV

Felix and I had to move to another room because I had destroyed our previous one.
I tried valiantly to avoid him, but I couldn't. I felt terrible and sick.
He had come back a few minutes after I had passed out and I had woken up in our new room.
It had been the worst panic attack that I had ever had, he said, he was so sorry that he had left me alone.
I met his eyes from across the room as Gemma left.
I gave him a small, tentative smile. He smiled back easily.
Zayn walked in, along with Niall.
I was able to have more than one visitor at a time.
"Where's Liam?" I asked.
Liam always came in first.
"He's, um, with Louis," Niall said slowly, avoiding my curious look, "He texted us a few minutes ago. Apparently Eleanor broke up with him and he's not exactly dealing too well."
I wondered if there was more to it than Niall was saying. He seemed on edge.
"Is he going to be alright?" Felix asked.
He sounded genuinely concerned for somehody that he allegedly hated.
"Probably. I don't really know. That's all Liam told us. We don't really know the details," Zayn said.
Just like Niall, I felt like he was leaving something out.
Felix nodded, looking curious and worried.
We made small talk for a while before Niall's phone rang.
"It's Liam," he said quickly before answering, "Yeah, Li?"
He listened for a while and his face slowly drained of color.
"Okay. Yeah, we'll come. Just hold on, keep him safe," he said.
His face was white and I grew scared.
He hung up and nodded at Zayn.
"We need to leave. Now," he said urgently, "Lou's completely lost it. He's um..."
Niall looked at me quickly before continuing, "Apparently he's going on and on about killing himself. Liam's scared and he doesn't think that he can handle Louis himself."
Now all four of us were pale.
"Okay. Yeah, let's go," Zayn said.
They left quickly, sparing me a quick goodbye.
I stared at Felix and I felt myself start to shake.
"It's my fault. It's my fault, ohmygod, what if he kills himself?" I gasped, my heart rate picking up and my lungs straining.
"Harry, calm down, okay? We can call them later and check on him, okay?" Felix said soothingly.
I nodded.
But I could only wait.
Suddenly, I knew exactly how Louis felt.