The Moment I Knew (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 30

A/N

Guyss this is the last chapter of this book!!

The prologue and first chapter of Untouchable are already up, so go read them when you're done with this!!

Love you!!

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Harry's POV

I wasn't ready.

I knew that I wasn't ready to leave but nobody would believe me. They wouldn't believe me even when I had a anxiety attack over it.

It wasn't even entirely because I would be living with Louis, although that was most of it. I was just scared because I had gotten used to the bubble of privacy and peace. Sure, I was looking forward to going back to my life, but at the same time, I was scared of the stress that came with it, especially because Louis was part of it.

Felix was helping me pack, a reversal of our roles from when I had helped him.

After I had stood staring into space for a good five minutes, he stopped packing.

"Harry," he sighed.

I looked at him and shrugged.

"I'm scared," I said helplessly, "What if I get out there and I go right back to where I was before?"

"You won't," he assured me.

"But how do you know that?" I whined, sitting down on the bed.

"You've got me now," he said, smirking playfully.

When I didn't respond, he frowned and sat next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I said in my letter to Louis that if I somehow lived, I'd try again. And I did live," I whispered.

"Do you want to try again?" he asked.

"No, I don't think so. Not anymore. I...when I tried the first time, I was in so much pain that I forgot about the reasons why I had never tried before. People always say that they want to see how people would react if they died. I thought that too, but now...now I know that I don't want to ever see something like again. I lived and I still saw how horrible it was for my family and friends. I think that if anything, if it gets that bad again, I'll remember my mum when I first woke up," I said.

"I'm so proud of you, you know. You may not notice it, but the Harry that I met when you first came here and the Harry that I know now are so drastically different in a good way," Felix said.

I looked down at my wrist. Almost all of the scars were still there. There were so many, there had to be well over a hundred from my wrist to my elbow. Even more were hidden on my bicep by my tattoos. The most prominent were two dark, ugly lines that ran down the center of my wrist, directly through my 'Things I Can't' tattoo. Identical scars were on my right wrist.

I traced them with my finger. They were ridged and uneven on my skin.

"These were supposed to kill me," I mused, "And I've got a physical reminder of that everyday."

"Go easy on Louis, babe," Felix said suddenly.

I stiffened. I'd momentarily forgot about my biggest worry.

"The last time he physically saw you, he didn't know if you were dead or alive. All he saw was your body and a lot of blood and he didn't know why you had done it yet. You've put the poor lad through a lot," he continued.

I opened my mouth to protest, but he shushed me.

"I know that you've gone through just as much, I do. There's some things that you don't know about though, that are his to tell you if he so chooses. I can't imagine that he won't, but just be careful with him. He's just as damaged as you are, but he's had to fix himself. He doesn't have this place to help him and he doesn't have anybody who he can talk to like you have me," Felix said.