Before the sleep

Chapter twenty two

Mommy

I can't believe it. How is that possible? I'm seeing my husband with my own two eyes. The face I thought I'd never see again is staring back at me, his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide as if not believing what he's looking at.

To think I was actually starting to give up. As soon as I heard my baby cry, I felt my spirit push its weapon down and surrender to the pull toward the other side. I couldn't fight anymore but for some reason I survived.

My eyes flood as I take in the image of my dear husband crying in front of me. His dark brown eyes, which stare at me with joy and apprehension, are ready to close despite the excitement. His body stands tense, his fist clenching and unclenching, not knowing what to do. The usual impeccably neat, I-a-very-important-man style he had developed over the years that I love about him is replaced by overgrown and underbrush hair, wild beard, creased clothes that seem to start losing their color, and a loose forest green tie that doesn't match the light color of the rest of his attire.

I attempt to smile but it feels so foreign that my mouth stays flat, unwilling to accommodate my overjoy.

"Irene!" Disbelief laces his rough voice. "I'm dreaming again, aren't I?"

"No," I reply with my voice barely a whisper to my own ears.

"H-how is..." his words are interrupted by an upsurge of tears and giggles. I've never heard a man giggle before, especially not my Joseph. "I...I...but..." his head falls in his hands as he begins to shake with the tears.

I feel my own eyes dripping its wetness down my cheeks. The sensation actually makes me want to pull at my face as my brain readjusts to my responses and needs. I've lived too long without any outer body reactions.

"Joseph, it's me."

In one swift move, his mouth covers mine and his hands hold my face tight enough to make sure I don't move but soft enough to not leave any bruises.

"Don't ever scare me like this again," he croaks out, his thumbs drying my tears. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too."

My hands struggle against me as I try to move them on my own after six months of uselessness. Sensing my battle, he slides his hands down to meet mine. The warm touch pulses long forgotten electricity back to my senses.

My husband, my love, my life. I can't believe I've been granted another moment with him.

"I love you," I tell him.

It's been so long since I've said those words to him but somehow it's the only thing I've done in the last few minutes that feels right on place. It's because I've never stopped feeling it or using the love I feel for him. It has been my fuel for the past months on this bed. That and my baby.

"My baby!" I gasp. My dry mouth catches on the words, resulting into a fleet of coughs.

"Water," Joseph moves towards the door before even finishing the word. "I'll ask a nurse for some water."

My heart sinks when he opens the door to leave but then he hurries back to drop a kiss on my lips. "I'll be right back. Don't go back to sleep, promise?"

"I promise."

My eyes linger after him for a while before turning to the window, admiring the sunshine pouring through it. Sunshine, the sky, the leaves, clouds, everything. They all seem like something from a different world I used to frequent. I'm the lost daughter coming back to her homeland after a long war.