ARDENT [A Spencer Reid/Criminal Minds Fan-Fic]

ELEVEN | REGRETS

(Spencer's P.O.V.)

"Reid." Morgan said, shaking me out of my delusional state of dreaming into reality. I looked up at him. "Dr. Moore told me to come tell you that Lauren is awake and she is asking for you."

I nodded, accepting the fact that I had to go in there and face her. Was I scared? Absolutely. I hated seeing my beautiful Lauren cry... and I knew she would. 

I stood up from the uncomfortable little chair, prepping myself. Morgan put his hand on my shoulder, eyeing me delicately.

"Kid, if you need me to go in there with y-" He began to say. 

"No, I am fine." I said, continuing towards the room. I stepped inside, seeing her half-awake. I dragged one of the little wooden chairs from the side of the room next to the bed, sitting in it. I refused to wake her, therefore, I simply sat in silence, waiting for her awake.

It took her a good seven minutes and thirty-two seconds to wake up. When she did, my heart dropped. She looked so out of it. 

"Spencer." She whimpered. Her hair was all over her face. I plucked some individual strands out, whispering back, "I am here." She nodded, looking as if she may cry... please don't cry.

I moved my hand down and took her cold one in mine. She moved her hand down to her stomach. She looked down at it, then back at me. "The baby?" She asked me.

"I-" I choked on my words, letting a tear run down my cheek. 

"No." She cried. "No... please..." Her tears began to rush town her face. "No... No..."

"I know it hurts, Laur. I know." I had a mutual feeling with her, of course. This was my baby too. My dead baby. A part of me even blamed myself. I let her walk there... I should have stayed home with her. I was given the option. 

"It's not your fault." She said, as if reading my mind. "I know how you think, Spencer." 

"It is my fault, Lauren. I could have stayed home with you. You didn't need to be going out by yourself." I said, continuing to race through words. My mind was racing as well. How could I have let this happen? What could I have to stop this? W-

"Spencer!" She shouted at me, her voice scratchy. "Stop thinking. Stop. We both lost this baby. It's not all on you."

"You were even going to get coffee for me!" I thought aloud. She began to cry even more. She also seemed frustrated.

(Lauren's P.O.V.)

I was getting to be mad as well as sad because this wasn't Spencer's fault at all. He always pinned things on himself like that. Dammit, I hated that.

As much as I tried to stop him, he continued that "Reid Ramble." Finally, I tried to sit up, pushing myself up with my arms. Little did I know, everything was quite nimble, for as I began to hold myself up, my arms hurt as if they had just cracked under my weight. I screeched in pain, feeling as if my arms were broken in two. Spencer turned quickly, trying to help me.

"What, what!" He shouted at me, trying to fix whatever had just happened.

"This is such a mess!" I cried. "My baby just died, I am in the ICU with a broken... everything it seems like! You think it's your fault! I just want-" I began to sob loudly. "I just want my baby!" I kept whaling. It seemed as if the whole hospital could here. Passing people looked in, as if something was truly wrong with me.

But then I considered, something was truly wrong with me. I didn't go through five months of excitement for a brutal death like this. 

"They have to be tricking me." I cried. "This can't be real. This isn't funny. Stop telling me that my baby died. It has to be alive. It has to!" 

Spencer leaned forward, taking me into his arms. He squeezed me as tight as he could without hurting me. He kissed my forehead, and rubbed his cheek against mine, wiping off all of the tears.

***

Hey guys! I know I haven't dropped in to say anything lately. I am getting these done more quickly then planned. Please, leave a comment. What did you think? Xo,

Haley :)