Love or War?

Chapter 2

Joanna's POV
It's not that I'm completely clueless, I'd just rather forget that I felt the connection.
I can feel him staring and I don't know if I like it.
'Lei, he's doing it again.'
I could almost hear her growling. 'again? That's the third time this week! Didn't you tell him off?'
'only inside my head. I can't just walk up to him and do it.'
'why not? You were pretty tough last week.'
'yea, Leila. That was last week. This is this week.'
She ignored me. As per usual. I was the odd ball out of the family anyway. Luke and Leila look identical; blonde hair, blue eyes. I have dark hair like mom, they look like dad.
Ah! That's why I don't like the pull and sensation every time Harry brushes past me. Dad. Pack Hart killed him last time they were here. And now, the Betas, Harry and Niall go to our school? How is that a thing?
'Damn it, Jo. Stop it, would ya?'
My hand went to my head, 'stop what?'
'you're thinking too hard and outloud. Stop it.'
I cringed, 'sorry, but now my head hurts. Fuck this. I'm going home.'
Just as I was about to get up, a deep voice stopped me.
'NO YOU'RE NOT! SIT DOWN AND PAY ATTENTION!'
I rolled my eyes. Fuck you, Luke.
I sat up and took notes for the rest of English class. It's usually my favorite, but not since Harry and Niall got here.

When the bell rang I was the first one out of my seat and out the door. I felt like every one was staring at me, but that's probably just because I felt Harry staring at me all class period. I raced through the halls to meet Leila in our normal lunch spot.
I made it there first and sat down. A few seconds later, her bag dropped onto the table and she plopped down beside me. "You have to control your head, Joanna."
"Easier said than done I'm afraid. I'm just glad he can't hear me."
"Yeah, I'm honestly glad too. You're aggressive. So how do you know he's staring though?"
"Don't you feel it too? It's like a headache. It makes me want to run a freaking marathon."
"Then go. No one is stopping you."
I gave her a look, "Are you serious? We're in school. Do you know how pissed Luke would be if I just left?"
Leila shrugged, "I've done it. Just go."
I sighed and stood up. "Fine. Just watch my shit. I'll be back."
I left the lunch room and made my way to the back door of the school. I could see it now and all I want to do is make a run for it. But I have to keep my cool.
Suddenly, I feel it again. I stop in the middle of the hallway and look around. It's empty. Or so I thought.
"Where are you going?" The deep voice asked.
"None of your business." I replied. I waited for him to come out from wherever he was.
He stepped out from a doorway at the end of the hallway.
I gasped quietly. I hadn't noticed the tattoos and scars before. They were intimidating.
"You look like you saw a ghost." He said; his tone no different.
"If it were a ghost it wouldn't be talking and unfortunately you're talking."
"Hmm. You're pretty sassy when you want to be."
I rolled my eyes and started walking again.
"Are you going to tell me where you're going?"
I shook my head as I neared the door.
"Come on, Joanna. I don't bite."
I got his gaze, "Are you sure about that?" I pushed the door open and ran out into the fresh air.
The woods were close, I could feel it in my bones now. The need to be free.
"Joanna!"
I turned to see Harry standing in the doorway. "What do you want from me?"
"Just tell me you're okay."
"You shouldn't care, Harry. Leave me alone."
And then I ran. I ran fast. Once I felt that I was far enough into the words, I transformed and ran faster.
I heard the voices in the back of my head. They were all around me but I honestly didn't care at this point. There was only one that stood out and it yelled at me to turn around.
'No. Leave me alone!'
'Come on, just come back. I'm sorry.'
'There's nothing for you to be sorry about.'
Suddenly I stopped. If I was talking to him that means he transformed too. Damn it. I turned around just in time for him to run into me full force.
'What the fuck? Get off of me!'
I rolled out from under him and moved a few feet from him.
'Are you okay?' He stood up and I saw his fur was dark brown.
I huffed, 'Seriously, you have to just leave me alone. This was meant for me to get away from you. Not for you to follow me.'
'Joanna, I'm sorry.'
'For what exactly?'
'I'm not even sure.'
'Then why are you out here? I was doing fine without you!'
I went behind a tree and transformed back. I brushed the leaves from my hair before walking back to the other side.
Harry stood there, back in human form, looking at me. "Come on, Joanna. I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Can we start over?"
I shook my head, "No."
"Why are you so sassy today?"
I huffed, "I'm usually like this."
"You weren't in class today like you were last week in the hallway."
I rolled my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair. "Okay, look. You irk me. Okay? That's really all there is to it. I just don't feel well today and I really needed this run. You kind of ruined it for me though. So if you'll excuse me, I need to go back to school."
I brushed past him and felt the stinging sensation I dreaded the most. His hand caught my wrist and whipped me around.
"Come on, Joanna. I don't like this just as much as you do but it's there."
I pulled from his tight grip. I felt the tears stinging my eyes. "Leave me alone." I choked out.
I walked back toward town.
"You're too far out to walk!" Harry yelled. "You might as well-"
I turned around and he shut up. I didn't have to say anything which means, as much as I don't want it to, my Beta blues were showing.
"Jo-"
"Don't Harry."
I ran up over the hill and kept running. I was sure I was still in human form. It was confirmed when I reached the school and Leila was outside holding both of our bags.
"You ran like that, didn't you."
I nodded, "Yeah." I took my bag from her hand.
"What got your panties in a twist?"
I looked at her, "What do you think?"
Her eyes widened. "He didn't!"
"He did. I'm pissed."
"I'm calling Luke."
"Why?"
"Because your eyes have been blue since you got here."
"Well, do you blame me?"
"No, but you have to control it."
"I can't. I have to get out of here, Lei. I can't go to class like this!"
She had her phone up to her ear. "Luke, where are you?"
She put it on speaker.
"Joanna, you have to chill."
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
"Jo, I'm serious."
"So am I, Luke!" I paced back and forth.
"Jesus, okay fine! You can come home. But you both have perimeter again tonight and in the morning."
I looked at Leila and she nodded. "Okay. Fine. See you soon."
She hung up and took my bag again, "Go."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me quite yet. I'll see you at home."
I jogged back toward the woods and headed North. I know home is West, but I need this.

"Hey daddy." I sat down at the end of the drop off to the lake.
The breeze seemed to go right through me.
"I really need you right now. I can't do this. They took you from us; from me."
The tears fell and I suddenly felt alone again.
I heard rustling behind me. I sighed. "I thought I told you to leave me alone."
"Whoa! Calm down."
I turned at the voice of my brother. "Sorry, Luke."
"Who did you think I was?"
My head shook, "No one."
He cocked a brow, "Now, I know my little sister better than that. Who is it?"
"No one, Luke. Can you just drop it?"
He sat down beside me and wrapped his arms around me. "I know I'm not the world's greatest big brother, but that doesn't mean I don't worry about you. You still haven't gotten through it, have you?"
I shook my head and more tears fell. I leaned against his chest and felt his heart beat. He's just like dad in so many ways.
"Jo, he wouldn't want you to be like this and you've been like this a lot lately."
"It's all easier said than done, Luke. I'm just not wired the same as you and Leila. I don't process and feel things the same as you do."
"Yes you do. It just takes longer."
I sighed and sat up. "Lucas, it's been years. Physical years!"
"Yes, Joanna, I know."
"I can't do this anymore."
I stood up and backed away from the ledge and from Luke. I shook my head.
"Calm down."
I shot him a look but he shot one back; red eyes and everything.
I stared harder. "Luke!"
"Joanna!"
"Luke!"
"I'm not kidding, Joanna! Calm down!"
"Then back down!"
Just then, Leila stood in between us and our gazes both snapped to her. "Both of you need to calm down! Come on, Jo. Let's go." She took my hand and pulled me away from Luke.
We went back to the house and up to my room. I walked in ahead of her. Once she was in she slammed the door.
"You're asking for trouble, Joanna. You know Luke is going to figure out what happened between you and Harry."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Not even with me?"
"Especially not with you, Leila."
"I'm your twin!"
"You're also the most likely to tell Luke!"
She huffed and sat down beside me. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Can you just be my twin for a little bit and just lay here with me?"
She smiled and nodded. We both laid back on my bed. She turned on a bit of Skillet from her phone.
"Thank you." I said after awhile.
"Of course, twinnie."