The Forgotten

If Only

A/N: All rights to the song go to Dove Cameron. All rights to the video go to Julia Flameheart on YouTube.

Will tries to help me climb out the window. I don't let him though and get onto the roof myself. Then we use the vines to get to the ground.

"So, where to first?" I inquire. He shrugs.

"I didn't really plan much past the initial getting you to come," he admits. "Although I did accomplish that. That's something, right?" I frown teasingly.

"That was not very wise of you, just thinking a few things through," I tell him. "You should always have a plan."

He grins. "Well, I know for next time." He looks around. "I don't think movies are playing this early. Do you want to get something to eat?"

"You're about ten minutes too late," I inform him. "I had a sandwich."

"Ah..." he says.

If only they were playing movies now. I've never seen a movie. Or had popcorn. I have heard the guards mention it though. If only I could keep myself together. I could actually try it. It might give me away if I look or act like I've never tasted something as universal as popcorn.

Suddenly I get an idea. "Do you know where the nearest boat rental place is?"

"Yes...why?"

"Just get me there."

Anyone who has grown up with freedom wouldn't understand why I wanted to get out on the ocean. The water means freedom for me. A boy in the Forgotten Compound a few years older than me used to tell us stories about the ocean. The one that stuck with me was one he told me when I was eight. He was ten or eleven. He said that in the old days, before the United States was a country, people would take long boat rides to get to the "free world". He told me that somewhere there might be a free world for us.

He'd say, "Eris, if only we could get to the ocean. We could escape everything. If only we could get to the ocean."

I think of him as I stare out at the water. Will agreed to rent a boat. I insisted I pay for it. He told me to wait at the dock while he gets it.

The boy was named after Robin Hood, or, one of the characters. Shame I don't remember. He disappeared about the time he turned eighteen. He didn't talk to me much when he got older. Or maybe I was the one who drifted off. I stopped talking to most people around the age of ten. That's when I became the bane of the Forgotten guards' existence.

Well, here I am, at the sea. Finally. Ironically, I'm already free. If you can call life at the Bristills' freedom, that is.

I don't hear Will walk up behind me. I don't even notice him when he sits beside me. It isn't until he touches my shoulder that I realize he's there.

I jump. He looks surprised, but takes his hand off my shoulder.

"Hey," he says, "I didn't mean to startle you. I got the boat though. And you don't have to pay for it..."

"I'm paying for it," I interrupt. His face turns red. I didn't realize it would offend him. I guess when you don't have much money, you don't want to be pitied or looked down upon.

"It was my idea," I explain. "I should pay for."

He still looks embarrassed as he leads me to our rental. It's a nice looking canoe. It's bright yellow and has two oars, one for ear of us. Will pushes it into the water without assistance. Then he gives me my life jacket.

"I don't need it," I tell him.

"So you can swim?" he asks. I sigh and put on the life preserver. I can't swim, and I don't want to admit I can't do something. Although, I'm guessing my refusal to argue was as good as a yes.

Will and I are careful when we get in. It would be a real damper to get drenched. Watch, now it will rain. It'd be just my luck.

Once we're out on the water, Will strikes up a conversation.

"So, why did you want the boat?" he inquires. I shrug. I can't exactly tell him.

Or maybe I can. I've only known Will a day, but that's the longest I've known anyone since the boy who told stories. I'm going to call him the story-teller, for future thought reference.

For some reason, I trust Will. I don't want to; I don't like trusting or liking anyone. I can't help it. He's sweet and innocent. Maybe if all the other people at Raven's school were like that, he wouldn't stand out. Then I'd be complaining that everyone was a pushover and a hippie. He's not though. He's different and he might understand.

I mentally shake those thoughts. No one could possibly understand the life I've lived unless they've endured the Forgotten Compound. They'd...well, I don't know what they'd do, but they wouldn't understand and move on. I don't have any friends and I shouldn't try to make some. I'm supposed to be Raven. Raven wouldn't be friends with Will.

But don't I deserve to have something?

Okay, that sounded petty.

"You're very secretive," he states. I look away from him. He doesn't even know the half of it. Actually, he might know half. He just doesn't know the big half.

"It's not a choice," I reply. "It's a lifestyle."

I stop rowing the boat and put my hand in the water. I hope there aren't any sharks. We aren't out deep though.

Will stops rowing too.

"It doesn't have to be. Nothing is forever."

Not even lies.

I chide my thoughts. My lies have to last. They just have to. Otherwise, I'm in serious trouble, and not just with the Bristills.

"Why can't you just tell me?" he asks.

"If only I could," I say quietly. "I've known you a day, Will, a day. That's nothing. I can't even trust Shain, and I've known her for..." I trail off for dramatic effect. I'm not trying to play him. I don't have to try. It's the natural response, secrets.

"I want you to trust me," Will says. He leans forward, careful not to tip the boat. "It doesn't have to be soon, but I'd like you to."

"Why?" I ask, looking up at him. He isn't looking at me. He's staring off into the distance.

He sighs and explains, "My whole life I've been an outcast. Because of money, because of social status, and because of other stupid reasons. People have kept me out, but you let me in. I might be reading you wrong. I probably am, but..."

"You're not," I insist. If only it were true. If only he could trust me, and vice versa. If only I hadn't been a Forgotten. Who knows, I may have known him by now. Maybe even years we could have been friends. The Bristills made a choice. If only they hadn't.

On second thought, thank God they did. Otherwise, I'd be just like Raven. I'd rather be Forgotten then someone I'm not.