I'm fine

Nightmare

Amanda's POV:

I woke up the next day, I laid there for a minute and looked up at the ceiling, I could hear my machine, and myself breathing, I heard Nick breathing beside me.

I laughed, his mouth was open and he was curled up in a ball sleeping, he looked cute the way he slept.

I closed my eyes for a minute to rest them again "hey Amanda are you ok?"

"Nick you're awake" i said

"I couldn't really sleep, I was kinda awake and I heard you"

I nodded "when the heck am I getting out of here, I hate hospitals"

He laughed "I know you do"

Just then the nurse came in "you can go home now here are your papers, but take it easy"

I signed the papers and we left the hospital, Nick helped me get to the car, I was still in a lot of pain, and I got tired really easily. I had to have an oxygen machine with me just in case I needed it.

We got to my apartment, I sighed as I looked at the stairs "are you gonna be ok?" Nick asked

"Yah, yah, I'll be fine"

I sighed and looked up at the stairs again, starting to walk up them really slow. Once I got to the top, I opened the door and slid down the wall and pulled my knees to my chest.

"Amanda are you ok?" Nick asked squatting next to me

"Yah, yah I-I I'm just tired"

"Do you need this?" He asked showing me the oxygen mask

I nodded and took the mask putting it over my mouth, breathing slowly, I closed my eyes and leaned my head back touching the wall, it hurt my head but I let it rest there.

Nick then picked me up and laid me on the couch, putting my head in his lap he stroked my hair, I looked up into his brown eyes, he looked back down at mine and took off my mask and kissed me passionately.

I wanted him so bad, but my injuries I just couldn't do it, I stared once again into his eyes "Nick can you stay the night?"

"Sure anything for you" I nodded and felt my eye lids close and I drifted off and fell asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night screaming, I felt sweat all over my body, I looked around panicking and saw that I was in my bed with Nick next to me, I felt my chest close up and I grabbed the oxygen mask and breathed.

I looked at the clock and saw it was 3am, I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep anytime soon, so I stayed up. I remembered I had to get my statement today, I haven't told anyone what happened and I didn't want to, I stared at the ceiling for a while hoping that this would all go away.

When I realized it wouldn't I groaned and rolled out of bed, I walked into the bathroom, and turned on the shower, as I undressed myself I looked down at all the bruises, scars, stitches, burns all over my body, I shed a tear I felt helpless and useless, I wish I died.

I got into the shower, and cut myself instantly, I watched as the blood dripped down my arms onto the shower floor, I stood there and watched for a while, I heard a knock at the door. "Amanda it's Nick, can I come in?"

I froze, he couldn't see me like this, but he came in anyway, he opened the curtains and I saw as his once smile soon faded, I felt myself about to cry, I tried to say something but nothing would come out of my mouth. He turned off the water and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my wrists, he picked me up and sat my naked body on his lap, it hurt but I just sat there still frozen.

"I-I-I'm sorry" I said

"Manda, baby it's not your fault ok, but why did you do this?"

"I feel so helpless and useless, I couldn't help myself"

"Amanda don't ever feel like that ok? You will get better and I will be here every step of the way"

"Why? You should just go back now to someone else, I'm a wreck there's no point in helping me, I just get worse."

"Amanda that's because you didn't let anyone help you, but I'm helping you weather you like it or not, you had it tough growing up but I will be here every day, every step because I love you"

"I love you too" I said as I kissed his cheek and placed my head on his shoulder, he picked me up and sat me on the bed. He came back and wrapped bandages around my wrists. "You get dressed, I'll be in the kitchen"

I nodded as he left, I shut the door and now looked at my body in the full length mirror, I could barely see the color of my skin, with all these marks, I had to look away but I couldn't, I stood there a minute and then I finally got myself to get ready.

I put on a long sleeve blouse to cover my arms, for no one would see the scars on my arms, and I put on black work pants, and black boots. I put on makeup, but I couldn't cover the scars on my face, it hurt to much whenever I touched it. I slowly made my way into the kitchen to see Nick making food, I couldn't help but smile.

I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, and put my head on his shoulder "whatcha makin?" I asked curiously

"You will see sit down"

I huffed and sat in the chair, I stared at his butt, he noticed "whatcha lookin at?" He asked

"Oh nothing" I blushed

He smirked and continued to make whatever he was making. After he was finished he set down the plate and the cup.

"Now eat up" he smiled sitting next to me

I stared at the plate of waffles, I really didn't want to eat, I didn't have the appetite, I took a sip of my coffee still staring at the homemade waffles, I knew I should eat it, it would break nicks heart if I didn't.

I slowly made my way to eat the waffles, they were pretty tasty, "how did you sleep last night?" He asked

"Other then waking up screaming at 3am? It was ok" I whined

"I had a good sleep, knowing that you were safe in my arms, I haven't been able to sleep since we found you"

"And why is that?"

"Because I cared to much about you and I was worried when the next time I would see you was" I slapped his arm and we made our way to work