I'm fine

Hospital

Amanda's POV:

Nate was out of the hospital, after Fin shot him in the leg. Nick and Fin went to pick him up at the hospital to bring it in. I was nervous to see him again I haven't seen him since he kidnapped me and I didn't want to see him anytime soon.

Nick walked in with Nate and Fin, I lost my temper when I saw him and I went off I stormed up to him "YOU DID THIS TO ME! YOU RUINED MY LIFE I HAVE NIGHTMARES EVERY DAY BECAUSE OF YOU!"

"You know you wanted it fat whore, you're not special no one cares about you, no one loves you. You enjoyed every minute of what we had it was something special and now you went to someone else because your a whore he doesn't love or care about you" Nate laughed

I stared at him for a minute, I blinked, he was right, I was on the verge of tears I ran into the bunks, Nick ran after me. I picked up my shirt and stared at my stomach, I was fat, and I just bursted into tears.

Nick ran in and saw me "Amanda Rollins if you think you're fat, you are not" I looked up at Nick, he pulled my shirt down

"Manda you gotta listen to me, what Nate said its not true, I care about you I really do you mean everything to me, I love you Amanda Rollins I always will" he kissed me lightly

I loved him too, I was mad at Nate he was getting into my head, I hate being like a victim, I was used to not anymore until we had to bring him back. I hugged him tight "I love you too"

We walked out and Nick walked into interrogation with Nate "WHY DID YOU DO THIS NATE"

"She was an ugly whore she got what she deserved"

I watched from the other side, I couldn't help but shed a tear, I couldn't believe the words Nate was saying about me I loved him, he took me for grant, he used me, I felt sick to my
Stomach I whipped away my tears and ran home.

Once I got there I opened my fridge and saw my beer, I drank one, then another, then another, until I had 10
Empty beer bottles on the floor, I took my razor and slit my wrists and I watched as they bled. I cried and watched I just wanted to die.

I felt myself slowly drifting out of consciousness until everything went black.

Nicks POV:

I got to Amanda's apartment, I knew she would be here, I know it was hard for her to have to sit and listen to Nate talk about her in that way.

"Amanda" I knocked

There wasn't an answer, I took out the spare keys she gave me and I saw her laying on the ground next to her kitchen counter unconscious.

"AMANDA" I ran next to her side and saw her wrists bleeding, she cut herself, I quickly called for an ambulance and wrapped her wrists I saw that there was 10 empty beer bottles on the ground.

I felt myself start to cry, I couldn't believe she did this to herself, drinking all the beer and cutting herself. Once the ambulance got to her apartment they wheeled her down, and put her in I got in with her and called liv to tell her to meet them at the hospital.

They had to pump her stomach due to all the alcohol in her system, she was in ICU due to the amount of blood she lost. I walked in and saw all the wires plugged in wrapped around her, I held her hand she was still sleeping.

"Hey Nick" liv said walking in with Carisi and fin

"How's she doing?" Fin asked

"They had to pump her stomach due to the alcohol level, I walked in on her she was laying unconsciousness on the floor bleeding from her wrists, 10 beer bottles around her"

I hated Nates guts he did this to Amanda, if I knew about it sooner, if she told us sooner this would have never happened. "It's all my fault, only if I had known sooner" I said scratching my neck

"Nick it's not your fault" liv said

I sighed and looked at Amanda sleeping, I rubbed her hand and waited for her to awake.

After a while I saw her blink her eyes open everyone else stepped out for a minute to get something to eat

"Nick" Amanda said groggily

"Hey Amanda" I said kissing her forehead "you're awake"

"Yah, why didn't you just leave me there? Let me die?"

I was shocked, why was she thinking like this? I wanted to be ok, safe, I hated when she mistreated herself "I could never do that Amanda, I love you way to much to let you go"

She looked down, and then back up and started to cry, I pulled her into a hug "It's ok Manda I'm here"

"Why did you do this Manda?" I asked worried

"I just couldn't take Nate saying all those things about me, he did this to me, he ruined me"

"You can't believe what he says, you're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, you a great detective, a great girlfriend, you are not a whore, you're my best friend I could never live with myself if you died"

"Did you just say girlfriend?" She asked

We never put a label on what we had, Amanda never wanted to she was afraid that I would leave her, or that something would happen she didn't want to have her heart broken again.

Amanda's POV:

Did he just say girlfriend? We had never put a label on our relationship before, I was always too afraid that he would leave me, and go back to Maria and because of work I didn't want anyone to find out. A day has never past through that I wanted to be his girlfriend, and call him my boyfriend. My heart was pounding out of my chest, I felt a huge smile creep onto my face and I knew I was blushing.

"Yes, Manda there hasn't been a time where I wanted to say that, and to be official can we?" He asked

"Yes, boyfriend" I giggled

He smiled and kissed my lips very lightly, Liv and the rest of the squad walked in the middle "Woah, don't need to see that lovebirds" Fin laughed

"Sorry" I laughed

"How you feeling Amanda?" Liv asked

"Been better" I yawned, I still had this huge smile on my face I couldn't wipe it off, I kept repeating the word girlfriend in my head. I looked at Nick, he chuckled he noticed the smile on my face.

"Well we should head back, see you later Manda" Fin said tapping my foot leaving along with Carisi and Liv.

"Well you're really smiley all of a sudden" Nick laughed grabbing my hand

"Well I'm your girlfriend now remember"

"Oh I do"

"Nick?"

"Amanda"

"I'm glad I didn't die"

"I'm glad you didn't die too"