My Life

Chapter 34:

Lauren's POV:

I laid on the bed with tears rushing my face still. I hadn't stopped crying since earlier today. I hadn't talked to anyone at all. Not Dad. Not Joelle. Not even Nikki.

My Dad had taken me home after everything. You know talking to the police, getting checked out, etc. I just couldn't help but feel as though this was all my fault.

I locked myself in my bedroom as I cried. I couldn't believe what had occurred earlier. She was taken from me once again. By the same psychotic bitch from before. The same bitch that took me from My Dad.

So here I laid in bed in my purple sports bra and my black sweatpants. I had changed and put on a pair of black fuzzy socks followed by throwing my hair up into a bun. Don't forget my huge ass purple fucking cast. Which by the way hurts like hell.

I had millions of thoughts running through my mind. Ones that I just couldn't seem to get out of my head. As hard as I tried, they were still there.

Like, how could I be so stupid to let her hand go? How could I be so stupid as to not chase after her quicker instead of standing there like a weak bitch?

I blame myself for her being taken again. I blame myself for not killing that son of bitch when I had the chance to. I guess he was right. I'm nothing more than a pathetic, weak piece of shit.

I was snapped from my thoughts as there was an abrupt knock on the door. This was the first time since I've locked myself in here that someone had knocked on  the door.

"Um, Laur can you open the door please? I wanna talk." I heard Nikki's soft voice from outside the door. I laid there not able to move.

"Please Lauren. I just need to talk to you. Please." I could here her practically begging me. I pulled myself up off the bed and unlocked it before walking back over and laying on my bed.

I sat against the headboard with the blankets on my legs and my broken arm on my stomach. I stared at the light brown wall in front of me. I heard the door open, but I couldn't bring myself to look up.

I heard Nikki's heels click against the floor before I felt the bed dip down beside me.

"Can we share?" Nikki asked holding the blankets. I ignored her question causing her to sigh.

"Lauren I just want to know how your doing." Nikki told me and I could feel her looking at me.

"I want everything to go back to the way it was before everything happened. I don't want you to build this wall up around you and shut everyone else out. I don't want you to block everyone out like your mom did."

"I don't want Lauren to disappear. I want the happy and sassy Lauren back." Nikki explained as she brought the blankets up to her midsection.

"Please just talk to me. Say anything. Anything at all. Even a noise. Just something. Please." Nikki begged as her voice cracked.

"I've lost her. I've officially lost her. You know what I'm gonna give you some space and then maybe we can talk." Nikki sighed as she wiped away a stray tear on her cheek. She got off the bed and walked towards the door.

Nikki placed her hand on the doorknob and slowly twisted it. She was really upset and I could tell. Just by the way her head hung low.

"She's gone." I breathed out as more tears fell down my cheeks. Nikki stopped and slowly retracted her hand from the doorknob.

"What?" Nikki croaked out as she turned to me. I shook my head and fell to my side as I cried my eyes out. I placed my good hand on my face and started to sob loudly.