My Life

Chapter 50:

Lauren's POV:

I laid in bed staring at the black ceiling. I've been in here for three hours just, thinking. Thinking about everything that's went on this past year.

All the ups and downs. All the relationships made and relationships ruined. All the people there for me and the people not there for me. People brought into my life and taken from my life.

I've also been working on a new song. I only ever write when I'm feeling stressed, upset, or angry. And right now I'm feeling more stressed than anything.

Stressed about honestly, stupid things. As much as I tell myself that it's stupid, I can't seem to let it go. I'm just thinking about what the next year brings me.

Who's gonna be there for me? How many more problems are gonna be caused? How many more times are people gonna put me down?

But most of all, I'm afraid that Bryan's gonna come get me. That he's gonna come kidnap me again, but this time he's gonna kill me and make sure I suffer.

I'm also angry. Not only am I angry at myself for letting such irrelevant things get to me, but I'm angry at everyone around me.

Everyone seemed to make plans, but without me. It pisses me off knowing that all of my family made plans to have fun, but excluded me. They left me out.

Mom's on a date with Dad. Nikki's on a date with Randy. Roman and Brie are on a date with Nikki and Randy. Dolph took Mike out for dinner. And then there's Joelle.

She left to go hang out with her Dad's cousin, Jimmy's daughter. I know, I know me and her were supposed to watch High School Musical, but Jaylen and pedicures are more important.

Whatever. I guess I'm just being a brat. I mean I guess they all should be able to hang out without me for once. I guess I'm just upset.

I was left to watch Bailey, but Mom had fed her and put her to bed before she left, so she's not much company right now.

It's around nine o'clock and no ones back yet. I didn't eat any dinner so I'm just gonna say 'fuck it' and eat some ice cream.

I rolled out of bed for the first time in three hours and ran downstairs. I searched and found the big kitchen. I'm not really sure where everything is, so I'm kind of slow.

As I grabbed the mint chocolate chip ice cream tub out, Bailey started to cry. I sprinted up the steps and into Dad's room.

Mom told Dad that she was sleeping in his room and he can sleep somewhere else because his room had a huge, fluffy king size bed.

I picked Bails up quickly and shook her lightly. Her big blue orbs staring into my own. I smiled at her and wiped her tears. I changed her diaper on the bed before proceeding downstairs.

Bailey started to cry again. I tried bouncing her again, but that didn't calm her down one bit. I started to lightly 'sh' her but still nothing.

Now she was screaming her little butt off. I sighed deeply before an idea came to my mind. It always would sooth me as a baby.

I remember seeing a piano in the front by the stairs. I sped walked to it before I sat on the bench. I place her on my lap bouncing her a bit.

I used one hand before I slowly started to play.

A million thoughts in my head
Should I let my heart keep listening
'Cause up 'til now I've walked the line
Nothing lost but something missing