Chasing Happy

Chapter 25

Two days later, Kieran was still in hospital under observation. She had been moved onto a maternity ward. She felt like she was being tortured every time a baby started crying. She had made sure the curtains stayed drawn around her bed so she couldn't see the joy on the faces of the women who got to hold their babies. She also knew they'd ask her questions and she didn't want to explain to them that her baby probably wouldn't survive.

The doctors could neither confirm nor deny that it was the amniocentesis that caused the infection. Kieran blamed the test. She felt Joshua thought the same, but would not say it to her face. He was trying to be strong for the both of them; Kieran saw through his tough guy act. He was as scared as she was. Neither of them ever imagined they would lose the baby, now they were faced with that possibility. Kieran prayed for her daughter too, so that she could put it all behind her and start family life with Joshua.

She appreciated the support of her family and friends. Darren, too, visited. Kieran knew he was riddled with guilt because of what he had said. Chantelle's head appeared through the curtain disrupting her mental agony. Christina and Amelia followed her into the small space. Kieran smiled, happy to see them.

"How are you coping?" Chantelle asked giving her a hug.

Kieran shrugged. "I named her Sienna," she said in a sad voice.

"That's a really pretty name," Amelia told her as she sat down.

"I can't believe I'm going through this. You never think it's going to happen to you and when it does, you just wish it was happening to someone else; but nobody deserves this." Kieran said fighting back tears.

"How's Joshua handling it?" Christina asked.

"His heart is breaking. His little girl is probably not going to survive. He told me not to have the stupid amnio, but I went ahead and now my baby is going to die,"

"Kieran you don't know that," Chantelle said softly as she hugged her friend.

"Yes I do, she's not going to make it. Joshua knows it too. She's underdeveloped, and not strong enough to fight the infection. It was in my system too long. It's only a matter of time. Have you seen her yet?"

"Yea," Amelia said her voice breaking. "She's gorgeous."

"Can't tell who she looks like though," Christina added with tears in her eyes.

"Please don't cry," Kieran said before bursting into tears. This set them all off.

Chantelle was the first to calm down "Shit, we're sorry." she said taking a deep breath.

"We agreed not to cry, but seeing her, then seeing you well..." Christina tried to explain. She didn't need to finish her sentence. Kieran understood perfectly.

Just before her friends left, Joshua returned. "You okay?" he asked as he sat on the bed next to her.