What Happened to Us?

Chapter Seventeen

****TRIGGER WARNING****

(Katherine's POV)

Its been about a week since Lauren's attempted suicide...and I'm falling apart bit by bit.

Nobody knows this but...

I heard everything Lisa had said...

I heard exactly how badly we hurt Lauren.

She blames Dani, but I know I am just as at fault. I took part in making her so miserable...and I was the reason she tried to take her life.

The guilt has been piling on top of me at a rapid pace, making it harder and harder to breathe.

I haven't slept in days, because every time I close my eyes, I see Lauren's body in Lisa's arms...

All I can hear is Lisa's words, spitting out how much pain Lauren was in...because of us, because of me.

The guilt and the pain ...it's just too much.

I walk out of my room, and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I pace back and forth, I can't breathe, I can't think...

My gaze then drops down to the razor blade sitting on the edge of bathtub.

I don't even have to think.

I grab it without hesitation and yank my sleeve up.

"I deserve this" I whisper

I touch the blade to my skin, and dig it in deeply

I bite my lip to keep from yelling out in pain, it hurts, it hurts so bad....

...but I deserve the pain.

So I make it hurt as much I physically can.

Blood comes pouring out from the large gash in my wrist, and starts pooling into the sink.

I drag the blade against my skin once more, then again, and again.

I start slow at first, making sure I feel every bit of the searing pain in my skin, and then I turn it into quick, harsh swipes, up and down my arms.

My body is begging me to stop, it hurts, my wrist feels on fire, and blood is pouring out faster than I keep up with.

But the voice in my head, which had grown increasingly loud throughout the past week...pushes me to continue.

Once the blood flow becomes overwhelming, I finally bring myself to stop.

I turn on the sink, and watch as the water turns red from my blood.

I then stick my wrist in, letting out a slight groan as the water rinses off the blood that continues to pour from my cuts.

As soon as the blood is washed off, I quickly wrap it with toilet paper, and press it tightly to stop the bleeding.

As tempting as it is, I have no intention on killing myself.

I can't do that to my family, not after what happened to Lauren.

So I'm just going to stand right on the line between life and death, and pray I don't sway too far.

But whatever happens, happens.

When my wrist finally stops bleeding, I look closely at my cuts, which are still burning.

And a proud smile creeps across my lips.

At least I know now, how to give myself the pain I deserve.
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A/N: SURPRISE AN UPDATE!!!

THANK YOU ALL FOR OVER 2K LIKE WOT OMG I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH!!!

but this chapter literally makes me so sad :( :(

I hope you all like it tho!!

Love y'all!

- Annie :)