Pen Pals (EDITING,, READ DESCRIPTION)

Chapter 7

Tonys pov

'Depression' wasn't a word I liked to use. Despite my quite formal and official diagnosis of the problem, I still hadn't come to terms with it, even 3 years after the diagnosis. However, if there was any time I would use this word it would be now, because lately it had been getting me real down.

The few days I had away from recording and writing with the band I would spend at home, watching TV. Not even bothering to shower or change seeing as no one wants to see me and I don't need to go out for anything. I currently have another couple of days off because Vic needs to write some more, he says some things just missing at the moment and that's slightly relieving to me, because I'm not in a great state/place to start recording and trying to 'act happy'.

I've been taking my medication, for depression, but its just not working. All I really want is to be happy, and for someone to hold me and say that 'everything is going to be okay,' and that 'It'll get better, just wait', because that's the kind of motivation I need right now. I just don't have the will to do anything, I haven't eaten much either, and I know its a problem but I'm just not hungry.

It was Saturday, and I was going to my mail box to check if I had any mail, preferably from Jodi. I walked outside, it was the afternoon and I still wasn't changed, but I honestly couldn't care less about how I looked at the moment. I looked in my mail box and a small smile appeared on my face, it was there. I walked back inside, excited to read it, this was the first time I had smiled in a couple of days, I really enjoy speaking to her, it just makes me happy that I have someone to talk to that doesn't ask to many personal questions.

I sat on the sofa, turned the TV down ad started reading the letter.

It read:

To Tony,

Seeing the letter made me smile !! Everything's kind of sucky at the moment, if that's a good way of putting it. But this brightened up my day for sure.

Thanks for telling me about you, I appreciate it. I actually feel like more of a fan now seeing as I know some stuff about you haha. Would you mind telling me more about the band? I'd like to find out more and the only way I can do so is by asking you. Only if you don't mind though, I know you're busy :)

On the topic of animals, I LOVE koalas! I think they're awesome and I really want to meet one at some point in my life. I also like monkeys, raccoons and unicorns. Yes, unicorns. Don't judge me please!! I think they're cute, and the idea (even if it's utter crap) of having a magical little horsey with an ice cream come on its forehead and a rainbow mane is just amazing don't you think ?!! But turtles are cute too, my school had one once as a pet, but it was only there for a week as they wouldn't look after it, and I was so young I can't really remember.

I might show you some of my art one day, but only if I think is perfect because not a lot of it is in my opinion. Every time I draw it seems to slowly improve, so I guess I'm just never quite satisfied with a drawing when I know I will be able to do better, it's frustrating but true.

I was actually getting worried about you thinking, 'oh god now I have to explain EVERYTHING to her!' But now I know that not being a know-it-all fangirl is a good thing. I didn't want to give of that vibe of some crazed girl because I actually wanted you to respond !! Plus, I didn't want to pretend to be someone I'm not, if that makes sense, so I didn't pretend to be a know it all haha.

My week has been alright. School sucks, but its also important so I keep at it. I think I find it hard to enjoy school because I don't have any friends, but I recently met a girl and she's like the sister I never had! We get along so well and I honestly feel confident around her. Her names Layla and I met her at the park near my house, it sounds a bit crappy but she's great.