collide {harry styles a.u.}

thirteen

Friday, October 22, 2011

+Evie+

"I brought you breakfast." Liam sang, barging into my room. "Why are you still in bed?"

"Long night." I mumbled, burrowing myself deeper into the covers. Liam sat down on the end of my bed and I peeked over my comforter to look at his concerned face. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" He asked, clueless and I rolled my eyes, curling up into a ball. "Why are all your picture frames smashed on the floor?"

I stayed silent and Liam sighed, setting the McDonald's bag on my desk. He nudged me over and laid down on the bed next to me, turning to face me. He frowned and I avoided his strong gaze that never seemed to leave the side of my head. I took a deep breath and balled my hands into fists, around my hoodie sleeves, bringing them to my chest.

"Panic attack?" Liam asked, quietly and I nodded, hating how weak I've been the last couple months. "Why didn't you call me?"

"Didn't want to bother you." I mumbled and finally looked up into my best friend's brown eyes.

"Ev, you're my best friend. You could never bother me. Where was Lucas?"

"Out with his friends." I muttered, not really wanting to have this conversation. Again.

"Are you still on your meds?" When he said it like that, it was as if I was crazy and needed to be on medication to stay sane. I guess that's half true. I shook my head and Liam sighed, a frown adorning his lips. "Why haven't you been taking them?"

"Every time I take them, it reminds me of how screwed up I am. I can barely function without three different medications and all they do is distract my body from what is really happening inside my head. I don't want to live like that, Li."

I finally explained after a few minutes of silence. I hated taking medication. It always made me feel like a zombie, not really helping, just numbing everything. Liam sighed, once again, something he does around me a lot, and scooted closer. I leaned my head on his sweatshirt clad shoulder and inhaled the familiar scent. To me, Liam smelt like home and comfort. He always has, seeing as his family practically helped to raise me. Karen and Geoff had offered to take me in when my parents left, but I didn't want the pity. I wish I had a family like theirs.

Liam wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I toyed with the drawstring on my hoodie, keeping my eyes down. Liam started humming and I smiled a little, the soft tone calming me down slightly. Ever since we were young, Liam would always sing or hum when I was down to cheer me up. I always told him that he could make it big but he is too scared to go for it. The position we were in was something completely normal for Lucas or his parents to find us in. Lucas always teases me about someday marrying Liam but I just laugh it off, seeing as he was like my second brother. The thought could make me shudder. I love Liam to death, but not in that way.

"What are you thinking about?" Liam asked quietly after he finished whatever song he was humming.

"Your family." I admitted, sheepishly.

"Invitation still stands." He replied, referring to the offer to live in their guest bedroom until graduation.

"Evie, are you up?" I heard Lucas say before my door was opened. "Oh, hey, Liam."

"We weren't doing anything." Liam blurted out and I laughed. Oh, how innocent he is.

"I was just gonna let you know that I'm heading to work." Lucas pulled his hair into a bun and I nodded, sitting up in my bed.

"Okay, tell Sarah I say hi." I smirked to myself at his shocked expression. "Oh, like I don't know about her."

"Shutup." He laughed, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "I'll bring home dinner."

"Bye Lukey." I sang as he rolled his eyes, leaving the house.

Soon enough, Liam had to leave and go help his mum with something so I decided to actually get out of bed and make myself useful. I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail and went to go grab a broom and dustpan. I carried the trashcan with me to my room and began cleaning up the mess that was on my carpet. I threw the large shards of glass into the garbage and swept up the tiny pieces. I tied up the plastic bag and walked outside, towards the trash can that sat at the end of the driveway. After throwing the bag in, I shut the garbage, only to be met with curls and green eyes.

"Hey," I said quietly and kept my eyes down. He probably thinks I'm crazy because of last night.

"So, I'll stop by in a couple hours?" Harry wondered and I nodded, fumbling with my fingers in my hoodie pocket.

"Um, sorry about last night." I finally looked up into his eyes and Harry gave me a small smile.

"Nothing to worry about. I used to get them, it's okay." Harry gave me a reassuring smile and I nodded, a breath of relief falling from my lips.

"I'm just used to dealing with it by myself and you were only trying to help. I shouldn't have yelled at you." I apologized, rocking back and forth on my sock clad feet.

"So, I'll pick you up at noon? Nothing fancy." I nodded and Harry gave me a small hug before jogging back across the street.

I walked inside and locked the front door behind me, making my way to my bathroom. I turned the shower on, feeling gross after all the crying I did last night. I stripped my clothes off, cringing at the stinging of the fresh cuts on my thighs. I stepped into the stream of hot water and let it fall around me, relaxing my back slightly. I washed my body and hair, shaving all the necessary areas before sitting down on the shower floor, pulling my knees to my chest.

After a while, I got out and wrapped my hair into a towel, putting another one around my body. I walked to my closet and tried to decide on an outfit to wear. See, these are the times that I wish I had girl friends, not just Liam. I finally decided on black leggings with a really big cream sweater that hung down to my bum. I dried my hair, letting it fall in its natural wavy state and put my clothes on, trekking back to the bathroom. I did my normal makeup, this time putting on a little bit of eyeshadow, and clipped in my signature black beanie.

Seeing as it was already 11:40, I shoved socks on and stuffed my feet into my combat boots, grabbing my purse. I went and sat down on the couch, anxiety coursing through my veins. Holy shit. I've never been on a date. Calm down, Evie. Don't have another panic attack or he'll think you're completely mental. I groaned to myself at the internal argument and suddenly the doorbell rang. I checked my appearance one last time in the mirror before swinging the door open. Harry was standing there in black jeans and a brown jacket with a white t-shirt underneath. His collar bone tattoos peeked out of the fabric and he smiled, seeing me.

"Ready?" He asked and I nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. I shut the door and we walked to a car parked in front of my house. "It's my mum's."

"Ooh, fancy." I stated sarcastically and he laughed as we got in.

"Since this is our first date, it's going to be cheesy as hell."

"Bring it on, Styles."