Distant Shores; A Tyler Oakley & Connor Franta Fanfiction

Tyler;

I love spending time with Connor. So when I realized that I had nothing to do all day, the thought of texting Connor to come over was the first thing that came to mind. I sent the text and was giddy hoping that he would text back and come right over. When he replied, I jumped in the shower, threw on something cute and grabbed my things. Waiting outside my apartment for Connor to arrive felt like an eternity, but when he finally got to my driveway, I felt the huge smile creep across my face and I know he saw it too. He drove us over to Starbucks to pick up a couple of coffees. Neither of us said more than a few words to each other during the drive, but that was okay. Awkward silences were never awkward with Connor.

Later on, back at my place, we were on the couch, scrolling through the 'Troyler' tag on Tumblr on my laptop. Everyone thought that Troye and I were 'meant to be' or something and don't get me wrong, I love Troye so much, he's one of the best people I've ever met, but I never thought of him in that way, he was too much of a good friend. I don't think Connor really knew that, I think he thought that I liked Troye, but that was okay with me because at least then he wouldn't realize that it was him that I had a crush on.

I'd gotten very good at hiding it, pushing those feelings down and convincing myself that we were better off as friends and I love our friendship, cherish it even, but every now and then, those feelings would resurface a little and it was hard to make myself push them back down, but for the sake of our friendship, I knew that I had to. There was no way that Connor liked me in that kind of way, first of all, he had only just come out, he was still discovering himself, he didn't need to feel tied down to me, or to anyone, right now. And secondly, I had never really considered myself to be his type, which sucked, but I'd learned to accept it over time.

But whatever, as I said, we were scrolling and I caught sight of a hilariously filthy gif and laughed while quickly scrolling past it before Connor could see. He did though, and lifted his hand to point at it, snickering a little. Without thinking, I grabbed his hand and gently pushed it away, saying "Nooo... ewww!" as we both laughed.

My fingers curled around his a little and they rested on his thigh. I didn't think anything of it because as most people know, I'm naturally a very flirty person, so something like holding my friends hand wasn't weird to me, it was just cute, but it never occurred to me how Connor might feel about it. I didn't want to let go, because

A. Wow, Connor was so darn cute and

B. I wouldn't normally have done that and I didn't want him to think that I didn't want to hold his hand or something.

I was very conflicted. But in the end, I waited for Connor to let go first and I wasn't offended when he did. But a tiny little piece of me just wanted to reach across and grab his hand again and lace my fingers between his.