Distant Shores; A Tyler Oakley & Connor Franta Fanfiction

Connor;

March was right around the corner, a week away in fact and myself, Tyler, Troye and a few others were all going to England for a few days to stay with Zoe & Alfie and just have a little vacation. I knew it was coming up but for some reason, I hadn't realized it was so close. I picked up my laptop and skyped with Zoe for about a half hour talking about the things we could get up to and the places we could go on our visit. I loved talking with Zoe, she was so real and sweet. I always understood why Zoe was such a popular youtuber, because she was so easy to relate to. We finished up our conversation and I realized that it was 3pm and I still had things to do today. I had to call my parents, go and pick up everything from my PO Box and go meet my good friend Mr Ricky Dillon downtown to go see a movie.

I called my parents and spoke with my Mum for a while and then got myself ready to venture outside into the world of real people to go to the Post Office and pick up my mail. When I got there, I was blown away by how many packages and letters there were, just like I always was, but it seemed like there was more and more every time, which was understandable given that this was the first time I'd been there since just before Christmas. Ooops. I was admiring all the beautiful packages and envelopes as I loaded them into my car, which the very sweet, helpful Post Office staff helped me with because it was simply too much for me to do by myself. Although that posed the interesting question of how I was supposed to get them all into my apartment from my car when I got home.

When I had finally gotten all the mail into my apartment, I had half an hour left to chug some coffee and get myself down to the movie theatre to meet Ricky. I made it just in time and we went to see the movie we planned. Afterwards we decided to go get a smoothie and Ricky, out of nowhere said to me. "So Connor, anyone special on the cards?"

It was one of the weirdest things I had ever been asked. But I hadn't seen Ricky in a little while, not for long enough to actually have a real talk anyway, which made me feel kind of bad. But I smiled a little secret side smile with a slight eyebrow raise and he obviously saw because he smiled back and retorted "Well that's obviously a yes!! Who is he? Do I know him? Is he cute?" It was sweet how supportive Ricky and all of my friends had been since I came out.

"He's just a guy. Very sweet, very cute, But we're just friends because I know he doesn't feel that way about me. It's okay, I love being friends with him"
I don't know why I blurted that all out, but this was what me & Ricky did, we had been friends for so long that we just talked and talked, it didn't matter what about.

Ricky frowned and looked puzzled "So you told him you like him and he said he just wanted to be friends? Is he crazy? You're a catch"

That was cute of him to say and made me blush slightly "No, nothing like that. He doesn't know I like him, but it's okay, I don't want him to know. I'm sure it's just a silly crush that will blow over" I replied.
Ricky just looked at me with a look on his face that almost looked sad, not like 'pity' sad, but more like 'concerned' sad. "Connor you know I just want you to be happy right?"

"Yeah of course man" I said, feeling a little confused.

"Well if you really like this guy, you have to tell him. You can't just bury your feelings, it's not healthy. You never know, this guy might be feeling exactly the same as you are. You gotta put yourself out there Connor"

I smiled, thinking firstly how sweet it was that Ricky was this concerned for me. Sometimes it felt like he knew me better than anyone in the world and I loved him for that.

"I don't know Ricky, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. It's a complicated situation. Maybe I just need to let it play out and see how it goes"

Ricky spent most of the evening trying to convince me that I should be confident within myself, which as any of you who have had self esteem issues should know, is something that is much easier said than done. But I appreciated the sentiment more than Ricky would ever know.

I went home that evening with a lot of questions in my head. A lot of "What ifs"

So I did the logical thing... I decided to film a PO Box video... at 2 in the morning.

What was I thinking?