Arina

Chapter Eighteen

Pregnant? Haden, the father?

Arina couldn't concentrate all morning. She wanted to know the truth about what Haden's mother had told her. Was Haden really that kind of guy to just get up and walk away without taking responsibility for his own child? If he was, why did he never tell Arina about this child? The thought that this could have been Natalie's baby too kept entering Arina's mind, but she kept brushing it away. She didn't want to think of Natalie and Haden together. She wanted to think of Haden as the caring, trustworthy guy that would break her free from the brothel. She didn't want anything to ruin that. Natalie and Haden had both told her their versions of what happened that night, they both couldn't be lying, could they? Or maybe they made a pact to not tell Arina the truth?

Also, although she didn't know what to make of Agatha any more – since she had just got up and left without telling Arina-, she wanted to see her again to find out why she left. Was she really just after money as Haden had said? If that was the case, then why would she leave? Only Arina provided her with things like food, so where else could she go that meant she would be fed?

So many unanswered questions kept bugging Arina. She hated not knowing the full truth. She hated not being able to perceive people's character's well enough- first she had thought of Haden as somebody to trust, whereas now she was questioning that; and second she thought of Agatha as an almost mother figure, whereas now she was completely gone from her life.  

Arina stood by the window and stared out. Natalie was also in the room, still under the covers. Arina had barely seen much of her for the past few days. Natalie just stayed under the covers, continually crying. Kos had made some sort of excuse for her to Mustafa so that she could stay in her room. Arina understood how much this baby meant to her, but now that there was a chance it was Haden’s, she wanted Natalie to get over it so that she could ask her for the truth.

The truth was something very rare to Arina now. She barely ever heard it. Everybody was so secretive, which she hated.

On this day, Arina wasn’t going on the round- and neither was anyone else (for reasons unspecified by Kos and Mustafa). She was glad for the break, but she didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. Either sad because then she would have got to ask Haden for the truth, but also either happy because she didn’t want to face his mother who she found incredibly intimidating.

She’d have to work in the brothel today. She had gotten used to it by now, but she didn’t really want to do anything in the same room as Natalie. Arina found it odd, and awkward. She started pacing around the room, hoping that for some miraculous reason, no customers would come to her.

Of course, this would be a rare thing so Arina didn’t have her hopes on it. She decided to ask Natalie if she wouldn’t mind staying under the covers and not looking or listening.

            “Natalie?” She spoke. “Natalie?” She repeated when she didn’t hear an answer.

Still, no reply.

She decided to ask her although she wasn’t willing to reply.

            “Natalie, if there’s a customer, could you please not look or listen? Like, try to block your ears and not look. Please?”

Natalie still did not reply. She must be sleeping, Arina thought. Arina took the chance to voice the opinions she wouldn’t otherwise be able to voice.

            “That baby might be Haden’s. You said it wasn’t his. He also said he didn't do anything with you. But, it might be his apparently. I hope either of you aren’t lying because I don’t know what I’d do if it was his.  That would mean you’ve both lied to me. I’d understand if you were lying to me; you don’t even like me. But if he lied, that’d just be horrible.” She sighed. “I hope he isn’t lying.”