Welcome to my Mind

John Mayer

John Mayer once said "when you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part."
Up until recently, I thought this was dramatized.
I thought, "how could waking up possibly be the hardest part? Wouldn't you constantly dream about the person you're missing? Wouldn't dreaming about them be hell?"
A few nights ago, all of my questions were answered.
I dreamt of him,
And oh how sweet that dream was.
When I woke up, I felt immediate pressure in my chest and my stomach clenched with pain.
Waking up is the hardest part, because you just realized that your reality has become your nightmare,
And all you want to do is go back to sleep so you can dream the beautiful dreams.
I used to think that would be dreadful, to constantly see that person every time you closed your eyes.
But now, I find myself wishing my eyes could forever be closed shut because I don't ever want to lose him,
I don't ever want to face the reality that he is gone,
I don't ever want to come to peace with the fact that while I am dreaming of the sweet memory of him,
He is dreaming of the sweet memory of her,
And every time he awakens from his slumber,
The pain he feels is not from losing me,
But from losing her.

*what even is this? A note, perhaps?....oh well*