Love and War

Chapter 1- I'll Hold You Down

S H A Y N A

"Mom! Desiree won't get the hell out of my room!" Dj yelled. "Boy if you dont watch your fuckin mouth, imma punch you in it!" I yelled up the stairs at him. "Desiree, get out of his damn room! Yall some bad ass kids" I said laughing. They both came running down the stairs. I swear these two are like Tom and Jerry, always fighting but don't get it twisted, if somebody stepped to one of them wrong, the other would be on them like white on rice. That's exactly how I raised them, to stick up for one another.

"Mom I'm hungry. What's cookin?" Passion asked as she walked down the stairs. Yes, she calls me mom. I dont think that I should tell her that her real mother threw her away like she wasn't shit. She's not old enough to understand that type of stuff yet. I'll have Desean tell her when she's 40.

Sigh... just thinking about Desean just make my heart break all over again because I instantly think back to that day I'm court when the judge gave him his prison sentence...

Flashback

10 years ago

We all sat behind Desean as he stood awaiting his sentence.

"Desean Wilkinson Sr., you plead guilty to the murder of Latasha Jackson, and Roland Wilson. But claimed it was self defense. Evidence shows that it was premeditated murder, but the two individuals that you killed actually tried to kill you and kidnapped your girlfriend Shayna Carter. Since you took the plea deal I can only give you a minimal sentence. But everyone in the court knows who your are. Knows what you stand for and I'm absolutely shocked that they could not find an ounce of evidence to lock you up and throw away the key. I sentence you to 15 years in prison. You're eligible for parole in 10 years. This case is over, guards, take him away" the judge said before banging his gavel down and I busted into tears. 15 fuckin years!

"OMG Desean NOOO!" I cried out for him. He looked back and mouthed, I love you. I lost my fuckin mind watching him walk away with that orange jumpsuit on.

"Lisa, what am I going to do with 3 new borns? I can't do this alone. Oh God. Why?" I broke down again. "You gotta be strong for your children and be strong for Desean. And you gotta hold that man down while he in prison. You know you can count on me to help you. Your my sister and these are my god babies. I'd give my life for em" Lisa said. She'd been clean for 2 months.

When we left the court room, I felt like we were being watched. I just couldn't tell by who. There were so many people coming our of the court house to tell. I just shrugged it off and kept on my way. But something the judge said didn't sit right with me. Desean didn't kill anyone if you wanted to be technical, but he had to take the fall because some crooked cops had dirt on him. He could've did life had he not taken the plea and exposed them before they could expose him.

Flashback End

The judge said two people died I'm that room that night. But that just doesn't add up... I shook the thought away and began to think about what my next move was.

Desean wanted to pass his empire over to that Whiteboy Chris guy to run until he got out. But I shut that down quick. I told him that I'd run it for him to make sure he'd get his empire back when he got out. I didn't know much at first and he rejected my offers on many occasions but I have my ways of convincing my man. Haha.

I was taught everything he knew. I met up with his connects. He taught me how to assert my dominance over them and anybody I came across. I was taught how to use various types of weapons, how to measure each drug and the cost of it, I was also taught how to count books so I knew if someone was stealing money or not. I actually had to kill a few muthafuckas for stealing the other day.

After I was done learning, I was handed over the Wilkinson Organization. Even tho we weren't married, I still felt entitled to be the one to hold him and his empire down. As of recently we have expanded to a few more states. I am the face of this organization now. I try not to get into the drug part of all of it, I actually let Chris "co-parent" (as I say) that part of the organization. If money comes up short, that's when I step in. I am more on the business side of everything. I created over 500 new businesses to have clean money flowing thru. I actually just finished college getting my degree as a lawyer. That was one thing, I never stopped on my dream. If some shit pops off, I can defend my damn self.

I also make sure no one thinks that I'm soft. If you come across me wrong, I won't hesitate to put a bullet thru your head. These bitches fear me and that's how I need it to be. Just know that I'm that bitch.

I've had help raising my kids and doin all if this. There were times that I wanted to give up and kill myself, but I couldn't, I need to be here for my babies.

Desean Jr. And Desiree and Passion are 11 now. I typically try to have their birthday parties during the same day since they're a week apart. But Passion feels like she's 6 years older than DJ and Desiree just because she's a week older. A whole week. But these kids are my life. I wouldn't trade anyone of them for anything. I can't wait til Desean comes back tho. We need to make another one.