Just a Gardener

Regret

I watched through the window as Adam pulled into the driveway. I sighed, running my hand shakily through my stupid hair. I saw him look up at the window but I can't be sure if he saw me. It had been a week since we last spoke and it was nothing but the usual pleasntries you'd expect for an employee to a boss. I had the house to myself yet again, the girls were all gone for the weekend to visit their families. I had to stay home for work, not that I minded much. Their families were a bore and I knew none of them thought I was good enough for their daughter. Maybe they were right.

I took a deep breath and headed out to the garden. I got there just as Adam was pulling his shirt off, I gasped unintentionally and he whipped around. His eyes dark, skin flushed, and hair a hot mess. I had been caught so I let my eyes wander across his chest. He was broad and muscular, freckles dusting every inch of exposed skin. When my eyes met his again there was something unidentifiable in his glittering blue eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

His lips curved into a small, sad yet affectionate smile.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

My face twisted in regret, what am I doing? I walked past him and sat down on my bench. It had become my favorite place to sit and think, possibly because it reminded me the most of Adam. I let my head fall into my waiting hands, my elbows resting on my knees. I felt Adam come closer more than heard him, I knew he was sitting at my feet again.

"I don't know what's going on with me. I've never felt something like this," I gestured between us without looking up. I felt his hand on my arm and reluctantly looked up. He didn't look disgusted like I was expecting, he looked regretful.

"It's alright Tommy."

I blushed at how much I liked the way my name rolled off his tongue. I cautiously let my hand reach out and caress his cheek. He didn't pull away, his eyes never left mine, as I let my thumb sweep across his cheek.

"But it's not alright. I have three wives that I'm supposed to love." I let my hand drop back to my side.

His eyebrow twitched, "Supposed to? You don't love them?"

I bit my bottom lip, I knew I had been walking a dangerous line and was about to cross it altogether. I took a deep breath,

"I thought I did, at one time. Now it's more I'm responsible for them. It's my duty as a husband to take care of them."

He squeezed my hand gently, almost encouraging me to continue. So I did.

"I turned twenty-one and was expected to get married, so I did. I took my first wife, Victoria. A few months later I was expected to marry again; I took my second wife, Marissa. Then a few more months later I took my last wife, Karen." I looked to Adam as his eyes flared with anger.

"What was that?"

He squeezed my hand again, "Nothing."

He tried to turn away but I grabbed his chin, "Don't lie to me."

He looked at me intently, probably debating his options.

"I trust you Adam, nothing you say will be held against you. Not by me anyway."

He chuckled a little,

"I don't like the way she treats you. The way any of them treat you honestly."

He didn't look like he regreted what he said at all, more like it was a relief to get it off his chest. I smiled kindly at him,

"Me either."

His head cocked to the side in the most adorable fashion, "Then why are you still with them?"

I shrugged, "Because I asked them to marry me, it's my duty,"

"Bullshit Tommy," He cut me off mid-sentence, "sounds like you were pressured into all those marriages."

I laughed, "Well I am Mormon."

His face went serious, "Are you?"

My eyes widened, "Of course."

He looked at me skeptically, "I'm not saying to change your beliefs but are you really? I've," He blushed slightly and started rubbing the back of his neck, "I've heard you praying before and you don't sound all too sure that someone's listening."

I bit my bottom lip. I figured he had overheard a few times but I was still surprised. I looked at him thoughfully, "You're right. I don't know if anyone is listen. I pray because that's what I'm supposed to do. I don't cut my hair because I'm supposed to love my wives enough to do anything for them. I don't get a tattoo because my religion says it's wrong. I have many wives because my family and their families told me I was supposed to." I felt my face heat up with anger as long overdue tears slipped from my eyes.

I wiped them away quickly but not because I was ashamed to be crying in front of Adam rather because I didn't want him to see me so upset.

A strong gentle hand lifted my chin,

"What do YOU want, Tommy Joe?"

I met his eyes, "You."

The word barely left my lips before his crashed down on mine. The kiss was sloppy with teeth clashing, and it was all kinds of perfect. The fight for dominace lasted about a second, I knew he would win. He let his hands fall on my hips as my arms snaked around his neck.

We pulled away, absolutely breathess. He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes shut.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that."

He pressed another gentle kiss to my lips, "Probably since I walked in the door. Had we been alone I wouldn't have been able to stop myself."

He pulled away a little, bringing a hand up to brush my hair behind my ear.

"Will yo go with me to buy hair dye and get my hair cut?"

His smile was blinding, "Like you had to ask." Another gentle kiss and we were off.