Forgotten (Stopped Writing)

two

Music.
Blasted through my headphones.
I hated it, hated when my music was blasted up.
Though, because of this, I didn't hear anything around me as I closed my eyes trying to ease my headache.
School was the worst part about this whole situation.
Everyone asks me, "what's wrong?" "Are you okay?" "You were very happy last month, what happened?"
I can tell them, but I don't. All my friends look at me with little disgust thinking I'm ignoring them.
Pfft.
What great friends they are.
I also hate being alone.
They started ignoring me cause I ignored them.
Even though I said I hated it when people asked me questions but they were my friends. Isn't that what they usually do?
No, they weren't friends. They were more acquaintances. But I considered them friends.
They don't understand me. No one here does. I'm a complete introvert. Has anyone here ever heard of and introvert? I'm also very sensitive, impatient, lonely. I'm easily left out, easily laughed at, easily ignored, easily forgotten.
Many people left me all my years of school. Its not like I severely hurt my heart or anything, but it felt that way whenever I had to face them. They don't understand that they need to talk to make me feel comfortable. They need to keep the conversation up. My brain get frizzled up when I meet someone new, always scared.
Scared that they'll judge the way I talk, judge the way I dress, call me ugly, call my stupid, ask me why I don't speak the language that was supposed to be my first.
All my friends have left me. We were always awkward. When they had the opportunity, they left for someone they could easily joke around with, easily become comfortable with. I was not that person.
I wanted to desperately move schools, find someone who understood me. Who was like me.
But there was someone.
Someone that was a reason to stay, made me feel like I belonged with the people here.
Yoon.
Kang Seungyoon.
He never left me. He smiled at me differently. Made me feel happy. He never made me feel alone.
He wasn't like me though.
He smiled and laughed, made everyone feel comfortable around him. Made me feel comfortable with him.
But now, I'm more than scared.
More scared than ever.
Yoonie, come back.