Forgotten (Stopped Writing)

three

"In math today, we are..."
Seungyoon.
I can't stop thinking about him.
He's probably just sitting there, watching tv.
I haven't met him face to face just yet.
I'd visit and wait in the waiting room until he's fallen asleep.
I didn't want to know what he would say to me.
Thump thump
There goes my heart. The most alive thing about me. I know you're telling me to go visit him so stop thumping so loud.
"Nina! Are you listening?"
I get frightened and jump a little.
I make eye contact, and he turns away.
I sigh.
Thump thump thump.
I know Heart, you got frightened. Now slow down.
I rest my head on my fist.
I almost laugh at myself.
Why am I talking to my heart?
I'm crazy. I am going crazy.
I look at the person sitting next to me.
He's asleep, resting his head behind an open textbook.
Seungyoon.
Exactly what he'd be doing in class, exactly where he'd be sitting.
I look around and there's students throwing paper around while the teacher's turned around.
I sigh and try to think of only math.
Seungyoon.
Again. You're in my head again.
The bell rings.
Seungyoon.
Everyone's laughing, smiling.
Seungyoon.
Picking up their things, ready to go to the next class.
Seungyoon.
Mr. Lonce, getting ready for his next class.
Seungyoon.
It's my fault, Seungyoon.
Seungyoon, I have to see you.
Seungyoon,
Seungyoon...
I let it all out.
Right on the floor.