I'm Yours | BxB

4.) I Bet

I bet you start loving me. Soon as I start loving someone else. Somebody better than you. I bet you start needing me. Soon as you see me with someone else. Somebody other than you. And, I know that it hurts. I know that it hurts your pride. But you thought the grass was greener on the other side. -Ciara

*Two Weeks Later*

I spent the last two weeks walking around the house sulking. Why? You ask. I caught Zhan in the act of trying to rob my house for his little gang. You thought I was gonna say cheating? Nope. He's already done that cliché shit to me time and time again..

It hurt me because out of all the houses surrounding us. My house was chosen. I was pissed because I don't really have shit to home to as it is. I bet he felt even dumber to know there was shit of use he could take up out of here. When the police came by and questioned me I could've gave him up, but I didn't...

It was like he had the needle and hammer and instead of pulling the nails out of my heart, he continue to hammer the nails farther in. More and more each day Zhan shows me what it's like to love and hate someone. On top of this, bills need payment, and rent is due on the first. Where do you think my parents are? They aren't at home I can tell you that much.

They haven't even called to at least check up on me. They have money, but insist in having their flesh and blood, lamb of lamb, living in utter and complete poverty. Cut off notices were coming in now. To be only eighteen years old. I found myself stressing more than need be.

Faizon and La'rey found themselves coming over here to talk. I've been avoiding them since that day on the court. You want to talk about loyalty and respect. Those are the two components that was missing from our friendship. I like to avoid confrontation. The way anyone else would see it was I was running from confrontation. I'm too young to be dealing with drama daily. I'd rather subtract myself if necessary.

Back to Mizhano. He constantly begged me to talk to him. I just couldn't stand the sight of his face. He hurt me to the very core. No pun intended. At this point I didn't want to be involved with him. Despite his many threats against me leaving him. I feel like I would've been better off if he would've just been real with me when we first met. I wish he would've basically just came up to me and said.

" Hey. My name is Mizhano. Will you allow me to waste your time over the next four years? "

That would've at least prompted me for his bullshit. Instead me being the person that I am... Or was. I gave him a chance. A million chances actually. He used and abused me each time. I'm an enabler at heart. I try to look past his foul behaviors. Evidence of his lies and betrayals are always smack dab in my face. I look over it because he has boyish charm that I still adore.

When he and I first met I was happy he chose me. I just didn't know all the baggage that came with him. Do you want know what it is like being in a relationship with someone who doesn't know your birthday, your favorite color, your religion, or anything prominent about you? It isn't a fun thing. I don't feel a sense of entitlement with Mizhano. Instead of feeling like a trophy, I feel like a claim or object that he uses only for play time.

Here I sit on this couch. Thinking. Contemplating. Wondering how could I be that naïve. I'm an okay looking dude. I got an education. I have morals. I also have limits. I have a breaking point. When will I reach that breaking point? I surely don't know. I sit on the couch, and in my mind I'm wondering is Zhan feeling the same right now?