Friends won't love me like you // Tronnor fanfic

32.

A/N: pls don't kill me my birthday is on Monday and I want to celebrate my birth not my death! yikes uh idk why I did this huge ass plot twist but it happened so.. yup.. BYEE!

Troye.

Connor and I have been exploring New Zealand and both of us filmed 2 very artsy videos that we were going to post for our channels. But.. There was something in me that didn't feel right? Were we taking things too fast? I mean.. going to New Zealand to a secret/romantic getaway was going too fast? Connor meeting my family was too fast? Did I really love him? Did I really see him as my boyfriend?

"Tro?" Connor asked looking at me taking a sip of his coffee.
"Oh sorry.. I zoned out.." I replied and Connor's green eyes stared at me with a side of concern and sadness.
"Are you okay?" He asked and I didn't really know what to say.
"Yeah.. I'm fine.." I replied smiling and taking a sip of my coffee.

-

"Wow!" Connor gasped and took a picture of the sunset.
"This is beautiful!" He squealed and edited the picture.
"Tro.. I know there's something wrong with you.. You are so quiet and I know how much you love going on beach walks and watch the sunset together.." He let go of my hand and sighed.
"It's nothing.." I said and Connor rolled his eyes.
"Bullshit, Troye. I know you and I know that there's something wrong! Was it something that I did?" He asked.
"N-no.." I lied and he continued walking.
"Let's go back.." He looked at me and at the sunset.

Do I really love him? Do I? Did I really mean the times I said those 3 words? Or do I just see him as a friend?

"So.." He sat down in the bed and looked at me.
"I wrote a chapter of my book that talks about love.." He said and I looked down.
"I didn't mention you directly but the truth is.. I am so in love with you, Troye.. I really mean it when I say that I love you.." He grinned and I was speechless.

Silence.

Say something, Troye!

Silence.

Say anything!

Silence.

"I don't know.." I mumbled.
"What?" Connor asked looking at me.
"I.. I.. Have to go.." I said standing up.
"Where? Where are you going?" He asked sounding upset.
"Con.. I need time.." I walked away and left him confused and heartbroken.

Why didn't I just say that I loved him too? Why did I have to leave? Fucking thoughts! Shut up! I broke down on a random park and dialed the phone number of the only person that could help me.

"Sagey?" I asked wiping my tears and breaking down in a random park.
"Tro.. Oh my god are you okay?" She asked sounding concerned.
"I don't know.. I don't know if I love him, Sage.. I.. I don't know.." I sobbed quietly and she sighed.
"Tro.. You said that you loved him just a few days ago.. You talked about him like you.. Loved him.." She replied and I sighed.
"But what if I just see him as my best friend?" I asked and it took her a while to answer.
"If that's the case.. Tell him.. I don't know how you would doubt your feelings but.. It's up to you, Tro.. Listen to your heart.." She replied sounding serious.
"Sagey.. He.. He said he loved me and that.. He really means it.." I tried to stop sobbing but it didn't work.
"I.. I.. Didn't know what to say.. I.. I.. Feel like we are taking things so so fast and I'm.. I'm.. Scared of getting my heart broken again.." I replied stuttering and my sister sighed again.
"Tro.. Listen.. If you see him as your best friend then it's better to tell him now.. Sure that kid is in too deep with you but if you don't feel the same way.. You can't force yourself to love someone.." She replied and I thanked the lord for giving me the best sister/advice giver.
"Just follow your heart.." She said and hung up.

Just follow your heart.

And that's what I did.

"Hello? How can I help you?" A lady answered sweetly.
"Uh yeah.. Is there any flights to Perth right now?" I asked wiping a few tears.
"Yup! We got one in 2 hours.." She replied and I smiled.
"Okay.. I'll be there earlier though.." I started walking to my hotel room and she said 'it's fine'.
"K thank you! Have a nice day.." I hung up and knocked the door of Connor's and I room.

"Had enough time?" A wild Connor opened the door looking terrible.. he had been crying and it was all my fault.
"Yeah.. Actually.." I went over my luggage and started packing.

Goodbye, Love.

Flashback (1 day ago)

"Troye you need to focus on your music!" My manager, Emma said.
"Emma.. Calm down.." I chuckled and she rolled her eyes.
"You've been focusing on Connor even more than your own music! Your own career, Troye! You are not going to have Connor forever but your music! your passion!" She said angrily and I looked at her wide eyed.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked looking at Emma and she sighed.
"Focus on your music, Troye.. That's all I'm asking.." She replied sounding calmly.
"And how do I do that?" I asked and she sighed again.
"Troye answer this.. Do you love Connor? Do you really love him? Do you see him as your soul mate? Do you see him as your boyfriend or do you just see him as your best friend? Are you just thankful because he had always being there for you but just see him as a friend?" She bombarded me with a million questions and I looked at her confused.
"You just asked me like a million questions.." I giggled.
"Okay.. Simple.. Do you love Connor as in love LOVE or love as in oh, I'm thankful because he was there for me when the New Years shit happened? Is it love or affection?" She asked and I gave this a thought well more thought that I should have.