You Promised

Chapter Thirty

One month later, I can say that my elation was short-lived. I haven't heard from him since that last letter. I send letter after letter, each one more desperate than the last. Parcel after parcel his mother and I wrap and send with love. There is no acknowledgment of anything.
   Inside me, I'm divided. One side screams night and day that he is alright. That there was another mail problem and his letters are lost. That he is just too busy getting better. That he will be back out again soon fighting for his country. That is, my sister tells me, denial of the truth I feel in my heart. The other side is Hell. It whispers about death and torture and where Adam is now. It slithers into my mind when I'm alone, to make me sweat and shake with terror.
  Each part of me is fighting hard for voice in my head. They are fighting so hard in my heart, that they are tearing the fragile thing in two.
I lie in bed, hearing Jenny pacing in her room and John downstairs grumbling to our father about something. I crawl under the sheets and smile to myself, remembering forts that my brother, sister and I used to build. I hear a knock on the door and decide to ignore it, hoping the intruder will leave me alone. Instead, I hear the door creak open and my mother whispering my name.
   'Ami?' She asks quietly, walking to my bed and patting my back through the sheets. 'Are you awake?'
   I shuffle back up to the top of my bed and peek out at her. 'Yes.'
   'Good.' She smiles. 'Your father and I were planning to do something today.'
   'What?' I ask, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.
   'Unless you have another day of moping planned.' Provokes John, marching into my room.
My mother signals for him to stop talking but he sits down on my bed.
   'We could go to the beach?' She offered hopefully.
'Theatre?' Suggested John throwing my pillow in the air.
I shrug and pull my blankets back up around my ears. 'I don't mind.' I look out the window as John and mother talk quietly for a moment. The sky is completely clear with not a cloud to be seen. John is right, I can't lie in bed forever.
   'Beach?' I ask softly.
   I roll over to look at them, both with mouths agape.
'I owe father a pound.' John said, recovering quickly, his infamous grin returning.
'Let her get ready John.' Insists mother, grabbing him by the collar and hauling him from my room.
   I sit up on my bed and grin at my brother as he is pulled out the door.

   Finally ready, I descend downstairs to hear John breaking something in the kitchen.
   'John!'
He cackles with laughter as I come into the room. 'Ami. You're alive.'
I curl my fingers and flick his ear. He reaches out and grabs the shoulder of my dress, threatening me with a gleam in his eye.
'Grab the picnic box sweetheart!' Asks our father, passing a box to John and a blanket to me. 'And Ameila?' She calls after me as I walk to the car. 'Could you call your sister?'
'Jenny is coming?' John asks in mock horror, holding his hands to his cheeks.
'If your sister can get her to.'
'Ami.' He turns to me. 'I'll give you all of my food for today if you forget to bring her.'
My mother shakes her head despairingly as I drop the blanket in his arms and head upstairs.
Her door is firmly shut and I can hear her humming to herself inside.
'Jenny?'
The humming stops from behind the door. 'What do you want?' She groans crossly.
'We're going soon...' I start.
'Good.'
'Are you coming with us?' I ask, fighting my impatience.
Her door is yanked open so I can she her standing behind it, scowling.
  'Fine. If you won't leave me alone unless I do.'
   'Oh Jenny.' Sighs John coming up the stairs behind me. 'How you always make my day.'
   'Listen you little-' Snarls Jenny, taking an angry step towards him.
'Alright children.' Interrupts our father tiredly. 'Get in the car.'
'Did you finally fix it?' I ask John incredulously.
John murmurs something under his breath as he gets in the car.
'Very reassuring.' I mutter sarcastically, getting in beside him.
The car starts with a slow growl before creaking to life.
   John beams proudly and pats the car seat. 'Well done. Good girl.'

The day is one of the most beautiful ever seen in this part of the country. We head west, towards the closest beach. John demands to be let sing, and then he does so, so loudly that he drowns out the sound of the engine. Jenny recites a poem or two when she can get a word in between John's songs.
'Enough!' Roars Father eventually, as John begins to invent another verse to "God Save the King."
'God bless you dear.' Sighs mother in relief.
John sticks out his bottom lip and huffs, sulking as he glares out the window. 'I'm a good singer.' He grumbles.
   The journey continues in silence. Past the lazily rolling hills of Oxfordshire and underneath the empty sky that glows with the sun's radiance.
   Suddenly, the car lets out a dying squeal and shudders to a stop on the edge of the country road.
   'John!' We accused in unison, turning to look at him. 
    John looks back at us, eyes wide. 'I-I-I don't know what's...'
   'Relax...'Grumbles Father as he gets out to inspect the car. He rounds the front of the car as we all stagger out of the back.
   'Here father let me help.' Offers John helplessly before he is stopped by my father who raises his hand.
   'No thank you John.' He insists, pushing my brother backwards.
   John hangs his head and starts to saunter up a nearby hill. I follow him up and sit beside him on the grassy slope.
   Silently, we start a daisy chain from the white speckles on the soft ground beneath us. Mother flaps around the car, leaning over father's shoulder and trying to help. Jenny is still sitting inside the car, staring gloomily out the window.
   'Remember when we used to do this all the time?' I ask, smiling at the memory.
   John laughs lightly, admiring the short length of the chain. 'With Adam, Anna and Hazel? Yeah.'
   I reach over to him and give him my little chain to add onto his, before starting a new one.
   'Do you think it'll ever be that easy again?' I ask quietly.
   'Easy to skip school for floral endeavors?' John chuckles.
   'No.' I laugh with him. 'Just, not as... Tense.'
   John looks seriously at me. 'Of course. This war will be over soon. The you'll get married, Father will relax, Jenny will still be glum and I'll still be devilishly handsome. Life goes on Ami.'
   I roll backwards with laughter, my fingers shaking as they hold the flowers. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand, as I receive a filthy glare from my sister in the car for disrupting her reverie. She quickly bores with me and resumes staring angrily out of the window.
'What do you reckon she's looking at?' Inquires John, fingers busily looping daisies together.
'I don't know.' I answer truthfully. 'Maybe she's just thinking.'
'She is just thinking.' Joins Jenny flatly, shuffling out of the car to stretch.
'What about?' Prods John relaxing onto his back.
   Jenny doesn't respond she simply sits down with us and flicks some grass at him, landing a perfect shot in his open mouth.
   John sits up, ripping his floral chain in two and tossing it at Jenny. The flowers catch in her hair, resting above her face like a flowery tiara. Her eyes glisten with both amusement and playful aggression. Her lips curl up in a happy jeer and I cannot help but admire the joyful warrior princess that is so rarely shown.
   Jenny scrambles to her feet and chased John down the hill, seriously outmatched by his speed. John roars laughing and rolls down the rest of the hill, crashing onto the road, shaking in fits of laughter.
    'John!' Screams Mother as a car rumbles around the corner. Jenny leaps across the road and pulls John to the ground on the other side.
   They lie there a moment, as the rest of us, clamber down the hill and cross the road. Jenny is trembling with suppressed laughter while John gets to his feet, grinning from ear-to-ear.
   'John.' Mother shakes her head despairingly and returns to examine the car with our father.
    John, Jenny and I return to the hill and sit together in silence.
   'I spy?' Suggests Jenny, full of unusual enthusiasm.
   'I spy?!' Asks John, not believing his ears.
   Jenny rolls her eyes. 'I trust this game has reached the English countryside.'
'Oh very funny.' Drawls Mother, sweeping up the hillside and joins us. Father comes behind her, carrying the picnic basket. 'We thought that we may as well enjoy this weather and location rather than driving for hours more.'
'Good idea!' Agrees Jenny, to everyone's surprise.
   'Only if you got the car working?' Points out John, eyeing the basket happily.
   Father nods, collapsing down beside his son on the grass. 'For the moment, yes.'
Mother reveals sandwiches and small cakes, obviously baked by Hazel's skilled hands.
John gazes appreciatively at the cakes before scoffing them down quickly.
    One by one, clouds appear in the sky, pushing the glimmer of the sunlight to the horizon. We pack the car again and squeeze back inside, just as the sky fully gets covered over with glimpses of sunset pastels behind the dark clouds.
   We arrive at home, to find that our housekeeper has kindly left candles on in every room to guide our way to bed. I bid my family goodnight and make my way to my upstairs.
   I push my door open as I feel two fingers tapping me on my shoulder. I turn to see Jenny behind me, looking at her feet.
   'Ami...' She starts, fidgeting anxiously. 'Thanks. For today.'
   I walk back down two steps and kiss her lightly on her cheek. She jumps a little, completely taken aback.
   'I loved it.' I reply genuinely happy for the first time in a good while.
   She stands in the hall, half-smiling at me as I return to my room and close the door.
   I get ready for bed and curl up under my crisp sheets, feeling sleepy and perfectly content, and for the first time lately, not afraid of nightmares.