You Promised

Chapter Twenty Four

The ball bounces on the grass before John hits it back to Adam. The sun fills the sky and clouds glide overhead, giving us brief respite from the cold weather of the last few days.
Hazel sits on a picnic mat sipping tea and showing off her delicious food from the bakery, where she now works with me. I'm playing tennis with John, Adam and Thomas. Anna is inside helping my mother.
'Sorry for beating you Ami!' John shouts as he jumps over the net.
'Enjoy it because it won't happen again!' I shout back, both of us going to sit with Hazel. Anna glides out with a tray of different coffees.
We all sit down on the mat to enjoy the refreshments. John lies back on the picnic blanket and rests his arms across his face.
'This is the life!' He sighs. We all toast our agreement before Thomas, Hazel, John and I leap up to start a new match.
After two games, with Thomas and I winning, I serve and John lets out a giant howl as he hits the ball. The noise is so surprising that we all fall about the place laughing.
John finishes the game with a wonderful serve down the line.
Hazel skips over to John with a glass of lemonade.
'Good slave.' He says jokingly.
In response, Hazel glares at him before tipping the entire contents of her glass over his head. John just stares at her before coming to his senses and chasing her around the garden.
I turn to talk to Thomas who is already turning around to Anna with a happy smile playing on his lips. I sigh and look for Hazel and John who I know find stroking the horse in the neighboring field.
Jayne is lying on her back beside Anna, trying to make out shapes in the clouds above.
'That one looks like an axe.' Anna says.
'Why do you always see the violent ones?' Jayne asks incredulously. Anna shrugs and then moves over to make room for me. I sit between them both as we watch the next tennis match between John and Hazel against Adam and Thomas.
'Adams good.' Jayne comments, a few minutes into the first game. 'How long will he be...?'
I bite my lip in frustration before saying: 'Until New Years. But that's not the question. The real question is, why did John choose this weather to play tennis in?!' Indeed, the snow-covered ground is not the ideal conditions for playing tennis.
'Because I wanted to!' John shouts over at us, as he dives dramatically for the ball.
Hazel catches the ball and holds it at arms length from John. 'Wait. I'm out here, playing tennis, because of your whim?' She asks, a bemused smile playing on her lips. 'I find it so odd because you told me, that this was Ami's idea.'
A nervous silence fills the garden. John's breath puffs out of his mouth as he flusters with an answer. Hazel takes a small step closer to him so that when they breathe, their chests touch softly.
'John Williams. I forgive you. Not because you need forgiving, or because I'm a wonderful forgiving person, which I am, but because I love you.'
The previous nervous silence is replaced by a shocked silence. My brother's jaw drops as he stutters back; 'You...y-y-you l-love me?'
'Listen to me the first time dummy.' She responds with a smile.
Suddenly, the clear air is shaken with rounds of applause for them as they hold each other and embrace. Adam sits behind me and pulls me onto his knee, so I relax onto his shoulder, keeping an eye on my little brother and his love.
John pulls Hazel close to say in her ear: 'I love you too.'
I catch his eyes as he hugs her. His eyes are brimming with happy tears, that make me tremble with laughter.
'You shouldn't laugh at him.' Adam scolds me. 'Remember when we said it first?'
'Was I ever that foolish?' I say jokingly. But I do remember.

I am sitting on a train with my Adam, on our way to a day of hiking in the Chilternsbeech woods.
Soon, we arrive at the woods and set off down the trail. Adam carries the picnic basket but he seems preoccupied. We saunter through the woods and the carpet of bluebells. We climb over fallen limbs from ancient trees and decaying trunks. Soon, we find a place that is more magnificent than any other I had ever seen. The lush, swaying canopy is allowing glimpses of sunlight to dance on the grassy floor. The clearing is laced with the amethyst spots from the lavender flowers and the mossy trees stand guard around this natural sanctuary.
We set down beside a fallen tree trunk and lay out the picnic basket. I take the small cakes and lemonade out of the basket and arrange them on the blanket. Adam keeps on biting his lip and staring into the forest.
'Are you ok?' I ask him worried. He doesn't seem to hear me so I repeat myself louder.
'Huh?' He responds, suddenly paying attention.
I wave my arms at him in frustration. 'Hello? Earth calling Adam!'
'Oh. Sorry Ami.'
'What's going on Adam?' I ask him finally.
He exhales deeply before standing up and pacing back and forth across the clearing, trampling flowers in his wake.
'Adam what's wrong?' I ask, quite panicked now. 'Are you... breaking up with me? Is that what's bothering you?' My voice squeaks in panic at the thought of losing him. He spins around in alarm and gathers my hands in his.
'No Ami. I would never do that!' He says urgently to the sound of me releasing the breath I didn't know I was holding.
He slumps down beside me and bites his lip again.
'Well.. if it's not that' I say slowly. 'Then what is it Adam?'
He looks up to the heavens before jumping to his feet.
'Okay Ami.' He announced loudly, like he's preparing himself for something. The chirping birds suddenly seem muted. The swaying trees stop rustling as he pulls me close and whispers in my ear:
'Ami..I love you.'
I am suddenly aware of nothing. I feel like I'm somewhere else watching this unfold. I am aware of my lips stretching in the happiest grin and of my hands pulling Adam's lips to mine as I say:
'I love you too Adam!'
My deliriously happy smile seems infectious and soon our laughter bellows through the forest.
Now that we've said it we can't stop and we recite it to one another like we are learning the lines of a play.
'I love you Adam.'
'I love you too Ami.'

I am drawn back to the present by Hazel running to her brother and shouting:
'It's up to Anna and Thomas to say it next!' Then laughing as she walks back to John.
I curl up to Adam's side. His arm automatically wraps around my waist and I have to stop myself from purring. Anna is now chasing Hazel around the garden as Hazel taunts her, telling her that Hazel will always be faster than her.
My mother shuffles outside to tell us that it's late and it's time for my dinner. My friends all start leaving and hugging goodbye. The girls all hug Adam because it's likely the last time they'll see him, until he comes home again of course. As soon as they are all gone, my mother grabs Adam's hand as he was going out the door.
'Would you like to stay? Just for tonight.'
My mothers eyes are shining with understanding that tomorrow will be his last day in England, for a while anyway.
Adam's lip quavers in a brief lapse of control. He quickly nods and walks back into the kitchen. I hug my mother to thank her before going into the kitchen to bring Adam back outside.
We sit outside on the white garden bench, silently watching the snow falling. I want to talk to him, to find a reason that he shouldn't go away. To make him see that whenever he leaves, he pulls a piece of my heart away with him. To show him that I love him so much, it hurts.
'Please don't say anything Ami.'
I choke back a laugh. He knows me so well. 'You'll just make it harder.' He reminds me. I finally raise my head from his shoulders to look him in the eye.
'It's already too hard Adam.' At that I pull him to his feet and we dance. There is no music, just the sound of our hearts beating together. Our feet crunch the snow beneath our feet and the softly whistling wind makes my skirt float around my legs.
'I can see the stars Ami.' He says quietly. I bury my face in his shoulder to quench the tears before they even form.
'Oh Adam.'
Soon, we are called into dinner, and we say little. I pick at my food, much as I did the last time he was away, while Adam eats mostly out of politeness.
After dinner, my mother makes up the spare bed and shoves Jenny onto the couch. Jenny grumbles but complies.
I kiss Adam good night and go into my own room. I plait my hair and change into my nightgown. I roll under the blanket and turn to stare at the candle.
Suddenly, my door creaks open. I sit upright with a jolt.
'Shhh!' Adam exclaims. 'It's only me!' He says laughing as he lies down beside me.
And that's how we spend the night before Adam goes back to France, in each other's arms, as we will always want to be.